What Becomes of Us
by LisAlice5472
Summary: Noctis is the prince of Lucis. Me? I'm just a Commanding Officer in the Niflheim army. Our nations have long been at war. We have long been driven apart. But now we're together... after 10 years. As Class Zero is marching forth towards their last battle, Noctis and I have to decide our fate. (Machina x Noctis and Ace x Deuce WARNING: cigarette use!)
1. Ash and Smoke (Noctis POV)

**What Becomes of Us**

 **Prologue:**

 **Ash and Smoke**

* * *

 _I remember him. We were holding hands once, running free through my back garden._

 _Happy children we were. People often mistook us one for the other. Such a striking resemblance was between us._

 _We both had straight and long ebony hair, although mine was a little spikier that his. But our eyes were really the same - sapphire blue, a shade that I would lose myself into whenever I recognized my reflection in his eyes._

 _At times, he used to come over to my house and I would show him all my toys._

 _He was poor, having no family to rely on. He lived in an orphanage, several streets away from my mansion._

 _But I never boasted about my luxury. Everything that I had I shared with him._

 _Years passed and we were both growing up. I was ten years old when the calamity took place._

 _One fateful day, the Niflheim emperor came to our city. We were at peace then. He said he needs recruits for his army. He also added that he'd pay a good amount of money for every single soul. Of course, my father would never approve of that. Our country's children belonged here, with us! The emperor tricked us all. He faked his own departure, but he remained in the city hidden from our spies. He made a deal with the director of the orphanage. Later on, all the children there were sent to Niflheim, to grow up as warriors of darkness. Yes, all the children... including Machina, my dear friend. The brother I had always wished to have._

 _And you know what's funny? I am the one who chose his name. His parents died in a civil war. At the age of five we met. His eyes were lifeless that day. The people in the orphanage didn't know how to call him, because the parents were no longer alive to tell them their child's name. After a while, I started to chase him playfully around the garden. He was reluctant at first, but then he plucked up his courage and showed me that he was the faster one. He was always so fast! That's why I put my hands on his shoulders and congratulated him on his impressive abilities: "Boy! Aren't you quite a_ _ **machine**_ _! I can hardly keep up with you." That's how we decided his name - Machina! So suggestive. Machina Kunagiri, his full name, after his parents._

 _What's become of him now?_

 _All I can say is that he's somewhere out there, in Niflheim, forced to train daily. With no friends to tell him jokes, like I have._

 _It's been ten years. And another five have passed._

 _Today I'm celebrating my 20th anniversary, but ever since he's been gone, my life has never been the same. Father knows. He's often told me that: "You miss him, do you not?" Oh, and how much! I am prince Noctis. From what I've been informed, crying is a shame now, for a grown man like me. But I can't help it. Every day I follow almost the same routine: training session with Gladiolus, my bodyguard and acquaintance, but never considered a close friend, magic lessons lead by Ignis, my tutor and nothing more to it, law and politics which I am taught by Cor Leonis, the most honourable man in the country, of course, after my father._

 _How am I supposed to live without a friend? Without my dear Machina? Silent as he might have been, I always felt safe and sound in his presence._

 _I wonder. Does he still remember me? Does he still remember our happy times? Not a day goes by when I don't think of him._

* * *

Ash and smoke.

Smoke and ash.

Heavy fog covers the battlefield.

There is no light. No hope left. I AM doomed.

With shaky feet I step forward. Slowly and painfully. It's over. Did I win or did I lose? Well, I'm still standing so…

A loud gunshot resounds from afar, instantly eliminating all my positive thoughts. Try as I might, I look around to find the source of the noise. But my sight is blurry. The weather doesn't seem to abide by my needs, either. And before I get to be provided with an answer, I fall on my knees. Oh, dear agony!

"We have a visual of the prince!" somebody shouts in the distance.

One of my hands furiously grips three blades of grass, while I place the other on my fast beating heart. No! They have found me. Ragged breaths come out of my mouth as I feel my chest being torn apart. The tips of my fingers are stained in red when I take a moment to look at them. This should explain the pain. But wouldn't the struggle of combat be enough for me? After critical moments of battle – which I barely managed to finish – I get to be shot in the back by an unseen foe? I've just had ENOUGH. I can't hang on any longer. This would be the end of my five days 'journey'. For five days I've been running and running… and running…. climbing tress so as to take shelter from wild beasts, swimming in an averagely deep lake to keep my body relatively clean… and seeking out even the smallest cascade because I was dying of thirst here, amidst these God-forsaken Duscaen lands.

I feel as though my efforts were in vain. The first day I set foot on this foreign territory, I knew I stood no chance all by myself against raw nature. I could hardly put up with the hostile conditions here, where instincts matter, not wealth. Moments ago, I was just fighting a pack of wolves, which let me scarred on my right arm. And, as this wouldn't have been enough, the Imperial Army of Niflheim has found me now. I've been gone missing from my crown city for five days. Nobody believed I survived after the invaders had declared me as dead. I was hoping that they would give up looking for me. Yet here they are, right on my tracks. And to be honest, saying that I'm dead wouldn't quite be a lie. I AM dead inside. No future shines for me anymore. However, I won't surrender! I'd better have an honourable death – falling to the ground with sword in hand. Not killed cold-bloodedly like a helpless animal. Like… my poor father.

Were I to give into despair now, my crown city (NOT ONLY THAT, BUT MY ENTIRE COUNTRY!) will be lost for good. Left in the destructive hands of Idola Aldercapt, my most beloved people will become nothing but slaves. No, I can't die. What kind of prince would I be if I left their fates to chance? As I struggle to keep on breathing, another voice screams violently somewhere closer to me.

"Capture or kill?"

"Capture! The emperor wants to choke the life out of him with his own strength."

"That sounds a little heartless."

"Do you really expect him to have a heart?"

I… I want to get up on my feet. I have to survive this! Oh, but fate deplorably doesn't allow me to. No sooner do I collapse on the ground than I hear footsteps marching towards me. I can't hear anything anymore. I am numb. Fresh blood oozes from my chest. Perhaps the hit was not critical, but it has managed to stagger me nonetheless. Such a pretty mess!

"Try not to writhe too much. It will only aggravate your pain."

Huh? My enemy is giving me a word of advice? Inconceivable! I feel the urge to answer him something hoarse instead, but when I part my lips to speak there are no sounds coming out. Nothing… except of a considerable amount of blood gushing down on the grass.

"Don't get your hopes up, boy. You're not dying any time soon."

What? He doesn't want me to die? Oh, wait. They said they'll take me alive to Idola Aldercapt only to torture me even more! I will not accept this. I'd better kill myself. I wonder whether this soldier that has come near me has a knife or a gun or any sort of weapon! Tasting the salty blood on my lips, I slightly turn my head to the side to catch a fading glimpse of this fellow. When I meet his stunning blue eyes, I see my fate as sealed. Such deep severity. Such clear hatred. He looks so strong. Almost as strong as I have been sometime long ago. He looks so capable of killing me. Yet he can't be younger than me. He wears an elegant, white uniform whose collar is traced with golden straight lines. A long cape having the same color falls so perfectly on his broad shoulders. There is a small knot at the base of his neck and the cape snakes its way down to his hips. His pants, however, have surely seen better days. I can tell they were once the purest white, but now they are grayish, having rumples. Hence, this is the military Niflheim uniform! If my sight doesn't fail me now… When I look better at his face… I think I…

"You. I know you!"

These are the only words that managed to be spelled by my quivering lips. I swallow hard the lump in my throat as the grass underneath me turns even redder from my blood, which is pouring continuously.

"I'm afraid I have no clue of what you could be possibly talking about. I just know that you're the prince, that Regis's son, heir to the throne of Lucis. I couldn't care less about the rest of your pathetic life."

He kneels beside me and locks one of his hands in my hair. I cry out immediately, sensing the danger that engulfs me.

"Please, stop! Think better, you know me!"

"Shut up! I won't betray my country."

He pulls a small gun out of nowhere. Pressing it menacingly against my forehead, he earns a soft whimper from me. Oh, I should have controlled myself better. I need to be strong now (if I have the right to say that). So I fight till my last breath. As I hear the short click-like sounds of his gun, I feel tears falling down my cheeks. I've never been so scared before, really.

"And neither will I! I'm not gonna die like a beggar, tortured by your ruthless emperor!"

I can see a badge on his chest and I recognize it immediately. Only the high-ranked are authorized to wear it. They receive it from the emperor himself. He has the right to hand these badges to his most talented soldiers. Oh, so this young man must be a Commanding Officer! I use the little strength that I have left to tell him:

"Kill me now, officer."

He smirks angrily.

"Officer? I have a name."

"Sure you do. Do you think I don't remember?"

He gives me a puzzled look all of a sudden. I sigh and close my eyes. Life is slowly leaving my flesh. But he needs to know something. I have to tell him this, before I die! I look at him through half-lidded eyes as I feel the darkness falling upon me. On the badge his name stays written in white letters, but I needn't read it. Of course not. Because I knew him before.

"Machina, we were friends once."

* * *

 **As you can see, I made several modifications to this first chapter.**  
 **Machina's uniform is officially white, as he is a Niflheim soldier.**

 **This is a short intro chapter, the second will reveal more.**

 **I was beginning to have headaches because there are no MachinaXNoctis stories yet! I'll handle that. Just gimme some time :D**

 **Please review nicely.**

 **~Lisa :***


	2. Finding You (Machina POV)

**What Becomes of Us**

 **Chapter 2:**

 **Finding You**

* * *

I have to admit, I feel as though I've been struck down by a bolt of lightning. As if my brain had shut down all of its functions. Too quickly. Try as I might, hardly can I understand this tragedy. Only my conscience has been left intact by all this mess, still healthy and still whispering to me: _What have you done? What have you done!_

Something terrible I've done, and that's for sure. Do I know this young man, who is now struggling to break free of death's cold embrace? Who is agonizingly trembling, unable to die yet? I am not the one who shot him, but still... seeing him in such pain makes my heart melt. Furthermore, my awe has never been so high because... because he called my name! How can it be that he knows? He said we were friends once. He, the prince of Lucis and me... a nobody from Niflheim? No, this can't be for real. Lucis and Niflheim have never been at peace. To be honest, it is our kingdom's fault, not his, that the peace treaty was compromised. In Niflheim I have been taught, ever since I was young, that showing mercy to the enemy is an undeniable proof of weakness. Though I never wanted to become so tough, nor did I wish to let my heart turn to stone, I was obliged to follow that stupid set of military rules!

"My lord, do you need our help?"

Mortified, I glance back at the other soldiers. My fists ball up with the need to punch the one that shot the prince. God, am I thinking straight?! I don't answer them. I just stare in an idly way. I feel my lower lip quivering and that's when I realize my eyes are prepared to bleed tears. It's because I took the blame on me. I, too, have chased down the poor prince. I, too, wanted to kill him. But I'm not the one who shot him. No, I'm not! I never wanted to be a murderer!

"My lord! Time is short. We need to take the target back to..."

But the soldier doesn't get the chance to finish his sentence. Instead, one of his hands rushes to his forehead, where a red stain is beginning to spread. A gunshot echoes faintly far away. He falls on the ground before he knows that he's dead. The other one next to him shouts in fear:

"Blood!"

My own hand shivers madly on my pistol, which is steaming almost terribly. White smoke takes to the sky as I watch, terrified, how one of my comrades is dead, never to awake again. Just when I said I didn't want to be a murderer! Such cruel irony...

"You! You shot him!"

"Yes," I reply absent-mindedly, "because he hurt my friend."

"But he was just following orders!"

I raise my gun a little so that I can target the remaining soldier's forehead. Bitter words and meaningless threats I'd like to spit out to him. What I would truly like is to head back to Niflheim and shoot that self-proclaimed emperor Idola right in his black heart.

"Go to hell." I whisper under my breath, already crying at the crime that I am forced to commit.

Another gunshot. More smoke coming out of my pistol. A flock of birds resting in a nearby tree fly away, with desperate cries, as the second soldier collapses on his knees, begging me to help him. I just blow slightly into the tip of my pistol hoping that it will cool. I must look like a true cowboy now.

"Young master! Take this pain from me! I only wanted to serve you well, to stand by your side…"

The soldier crawls towards me in a meaningless attempt to seize salvation. And I decide to provide him with that, delivering the killing shot afterwards. I am gifted a loud scream from him – which was obviously produced by his fear – and then everything turns to silence. There! Now redemption is yours.

For nearly a minute, I still stand here, amazed by what has just happened. My mind makes a quick summary of the day: our people from Niflheim learned about the death of king Regis Caelum, then the emperor demanded his soldiers that they go looking for the last "pawn" in this game that needed to be annihilated. Kill on sight he first told us, but then he changed his mind. So great was his hatred for the king of Lucis, that he wanted to torture his son with his own hands. And look! We have been sent to Lucis, but the prince had been gone missing. A few searching parties decided to track him down, since it was clear to us that he'd run away. We set off for the nearest region: the wilderness that is these Duscaen lands! From all the soldiers out there that could have found him first… it was I who did. Such can fate be! Now I've killed my two comrades. Why? To protect the target? If Idola finds out he'll have my head for sure!

"Machina. Machina, please…"

A pained voice wakes me from my reverie. Confused and awestruck I might have been, but now I have to bear the consequences of my actions. Slowly, I turn around to face the prince.

"Please, kill me! Kill me now."

There is nothing left of his strength. Shattered it has been. The essence of his life – that royal blood of his – is splattered everywhere on the grass. It's grotesque to watch such a scene. I step closer, feeling immense guilt choking me, eating me alive. What should I do? He is dying. That shot could have killed anybody. His ribs will never be the same.

"Hey, hold still. Don't make another move!"

I furiously push my pistol inside my holster as I kneel down to aid the bleeding prince. However, I doubt there is something to help him with. If nothing else, I could ease his pain the same way as I did to that soldier. But my heart will not allow me to do so. No! It aches so bad. I've never laid eyes on the prince before, so why should I feel any remorse for him? It's so strange. My good heart is begging me to struggle as to keep him alive.

"I'd tell you I'm sorry. Though I'm absolutely positive that won't do you any good. It won't change a thing."

Dear God! Why has my voice become such a sweet whisper? Why am I talking to him as if he were a long lost friend?

"Machina. It's ever good to see you."

He rolls on his side to look me better in the eye. I can almost see my reflection – neat and clean and scared to death while he is in a deplorable condition.

"It's been such a long time. Yet it still feels like yesterday."

"W-What do you mean?"

Something strong, like an invisible bond of friendship is pushing me to brush his forehead with my fingers, soothing him. I gaze at his chest, whence his pain comes. I press a hand there, feeling his feeble heartbeat. This would be the time when I'd cry so hard, spared of the cruel Niflheim instructions which say 'soldiers must be sober, never showcasing their soft side'. The prince stretches one quivering hand to me and I gasp as I lay eyes on it. Since he touched his own wound, I needn't describe what I see, but I am astonished nonetheless. Smiling – or at least trying to smile – I take his hand in mine, hoping this simple act of mildness will comfort him somehow.

"Deep inside your mind, Machina, there still must lie our memories. You were a citizen of Lucis. You were my best friend!"

He is choking with his tears as he screams this out to me as if he just broke free of the pain of not saying it. I can barely prevent my jaws from dropping.

"But that's impossible. I was trained in Niflheim. All my life I've lived there!"

"That's a lie!" moans the prince and fresh tears dribble out of his eyes, "My father made sure you had a roof above your head when you were a hopeless child! He invested in you! He sent you to an orphanage nearby so that you'd still be close to our residence! I used to pay you regular visits! I used to take you home with me every day…"

I wish I could tell him to shut up already because all this shouting won't do him good, but he won't listen. He's too caught up in the moment. Should I believe what I hear? I remember I was recruited for the Niflheim army at a young age. I had no parents ever since then. Nobody to care for me. Monotone days of training, knowing no happiness nor pleasure. So I figure, part of what he says must be true. He mentioned we were friends…

"Machina, I'm begging you to trust! Trust me, I never wanted to get you in harm's way. I can tell you everything, but m-maybe first y-you'll let me rest for a little while…"

Slowly but surely, the prince's hand slips from mine. And then reality hits me square in the back with such amazing force that I nearly shriek in fear. I don't want him to die on me! Biting my lower lip, I reach lower to his level and try to lift his upper body from the ground. He breathlessly leans on me… sighing… groaning… crying.

"Yes, you need to rest," I whisper in his ear, "but you will do that alive, not dead. You hear me?!"

"W-Why did you kill your own people?" he asks, ignoring my reply as well as his pain.

I hate to be reminded of this.

"Because it was the only way I could have hoped for your safety. That shot won't be the end of you. You're stronger than to just lie down and die!"

There is a faint smile looming on his lips.

"My parents are… both dead. My country is being invaded… as we speak. However, my long lost friend has found me. Such is the reward I get to taste before I can go…

" **Noctis** , don't!"

I scream for him to hear my demand. His eyes flutter open. A powerless whisper escapes his throat.

"Did you call me?"

"The name just popped inside my mind. Out of nowhere. You are Noctis, the prince of Lucis, are you not?"

"At last... you've remembered!"

He lets his upper body in my arms as I brush the black locks of hair out of his eyes. Yes, he is right! I know these eyes. A long time ago they used to shine with joy. I'm forcing my mind to seek even more distant memories. If only I could see everything clear again! When I was assigned for the military force of Niflheim, they asked me my name. I just gave them a blunt answer: **Machina**. It was only later that I discovered how awkward it sounded, but I was already getting used to it. Noctis chose this name for me. I remember now! Here I can see the two of us - somewhere deep inside my mind - young and playful, chasing each other in the back of his garden. **Oh, what have I done?!**

"Noctis. It **is** you!"

I see several fresh traces of tears on his wasted cheeks, but what amazes me the most is that they're not his. No. They have dropped from **my** eyes. I am crying too. My tears are so salty that I am forced to shake my head in defiance.

"I thought I... I thought you..."

"I missed you, Machina."

"Let me fix this. Please. I can take care of you. In your condition, the Niflheim army needn't even pull a muscle to find you."

Noctis seems to agree, for he lays his head sideways on my lap. He looks... defeated. By fate itself. He looks like the helpless child I used to be. How the tables have turned! He is in desperate need now. We are both orphans. But I will not allow our destinies be left to chance! As I take a look around us, I can see some rocky structures near the lake, high enough to keep us safe from nightly danger. And if I take another better look, there is a small cave somewhere up there. A dusty footpath leads to it. Hope is ours.

"Hey, my prince. I think I've just found our haven for tonight."

"Sounds good." he murmurs, overcome by his pain.

"I'll keep you safe, Noctis."

I can feel my eyes brimming with strong friendship. He takes in what I say, but then sighs in the cool dusk air.

"Why bother? I'm already a lost cause."

I ponder a short while, searching a good and firm answer. Words which will undoubtedly blow his mind. I embrace him with my warm arms as a sincere smile looms on my lips.

"Because, Noctis, you once did the same for me."


	3. Healing You (Noctis POV)

**Heyyy, guys! Sorry for taking so much time to finish this 3rd chapter, but I had trouble finding my ideas and weaving them together. God, but DO I KNOW NOW HOW MY STORY WILL EVOLVE!**

 **I've recently played Final Fantasy Type-0 HD (still not finished it) and I was able to see beyond Machina's green eyes the man he truly is. I feel so sorry for his older brother - Izana. Consider that as my 1st source of inspiration.**

 **So, back to my story, I'll add more chapters in the future (if God has mercy on me and grants me power to do that)**

 **Here are a few spoilers:**

 ** _Machina and Noctis will be together, like you all hoped._**

 ** _Ace and maybe some other Class Zero cadets will show up! :)_**

 ** _Idola Aldercapt will get his butt painfully kicked in the end_**

 ** _(he deserves that :D)_**

 **...And that's enough... for now ^_^**

 **Enjoy this sweet chapter.**

 **WARNING: slight yaoi (boyXboy) &**

 **the story might make you cry so...**

 **YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!**

 **Don't like, don't read!**

* * *

 **What Becomes of Us**

 **Chapter 3:**  
 **Healing You**

* * *

 _My hands are broken_

 _And time is going on and on it goes..._

 _Forever._

In this cruel world where few know how to forgive, I can only think about my favorite songs, which manage at all times to bring a smile to my lips. This simple sign of content puts my mind at ease: **a smile**. Even a sad one would do. My condition never having been so alarming, Breaking Benjamin's song "You" is the first and fastest remedy for me right now. Music is for my soul like honey for bees. I always used to sing. And I still do. I sang to myself when Machina would relentlessly chase after me.

 _Dead star, shine! Light up the sky!_

 _I'm all out of breath, my walls are closing in._

I sang when emperor Idola Aldercapt set foot in our city, taking so many children away with him.

 _When all is said and done_

 _I will be the one_

 _To leave you in your misery and hate what you've become._

Last but not least, I drank my own tears, making an effort to sing when I softly reminisced of heartbreaking sunsets under which Machina and I would eat ice cream together on a bench in the park.

 _I'll keep you inside..._

 _Where I lead you cannot follow._

 _Straight and to the light_

 _As my breath grows thin and shallow._

Now I try to open my eyes, feeling so exhausted after such a day. I need a reprieve. Something to set my soul free. Free from its torment. As I let a slight sigh to escape my lips, a warm hand lays on my forehead. It lightly caresses my skin. Oh, somebody cares about me! Another hand grasps my right shoulder, then snakes its way down to my waist, settling my body on something soft, emanating a familiar scent. It must be hay. I really don't mind resting here, even though my royal tastes still linger inside my mind. I could do with a king size bed, but for now I need to be pleased with the little I have. Then I hear magical sounds, as if I were still dreaming and in the next moment I know somebody has cast Cure on me. The spell does me good, since my body doesn't feel so strained anymore. My limbs relax at last. Velvet fingers caress my chest where a bullet pierced through me a while ago. I look down at my wound to see the blood drying, leaving my shirt clean like magic! Wow, it worked! The bullet is gone. Nothing hurts me now.

"You'll be good as new." a familiar voice tells me.

"I know. I'm not alone."

Smiling, I look at my best friend, my hero, gloating him over. Strong magic power radiates through his veins like a beautiful aura. His dark hair shapes his young face almost covering his right eye. I don't know why... but all of a sudden I have this urge to touch him. So many years have passed, yet it feels like yesterday when we played together. My heart begins to beat faster. And faster. And I finally feel secured here, in his arms. My forehead presses against his chest, acknowledging the masculine four-pack there that still needs to grow. However, taking his fragile age into consideration, I tell to myself he's quite well-built. Not that I've expected less from an elite soldier of his kind. He's... three years younger than me?

"Machina, how old are you know?" I ask him.

My friend gives me a puzzled look. Have I said something wrong? His eyes are so amused. He bursts into laughter. Oh, his pleasant voice...!

"Really? Is that what you want to know in the first place? I've been expecting something like 'Where are we?' or 'When will I recuperate?' Well, anyway, I'm seventeen."

Hardly aware of my sudden reaction, I laugh too. Hiding myself deeper at his chest, I encircle his waist with my arms. Yes, with my weak, feeble arms. His cheek touches mine as he embraces me. My eyes shoot open due to the pleasant contact, but I fear… Hold up a sec. What should I worry for? Let me just enjoy this heartily moment. I hear his soft chuckle as we remain united for what seems like an eternity. Tired may I be, yet my head goes haywire, 'Machina' becoming the only word that escapes my lips, parted slightly in rapture. It's so wonderful to think that after all the bloodshed in Insomnia, my crown city, after my last parent's death… still… somebody cares for me. Somebody's got my back. Protects me. Wants nothing but the best for me. I give out a sigh when this benefactor of mine gently pushes his fingers on my shoulder blades and massages my strained muscles.

"You passed out minutes ago," he whispers, "not long before we reached this cave. I carried you here. All I can say is that you're really, really thin. And I mean it."

Slowly, I take a look at my body. Machina's right.

 _The shadow of a man - I am nothing less._

 _I am holding on, still holding on._

Prince of Lucis? Oh, please. I'm barely a ghost of what I used to be once. Once, when my beloved country was free, when my people where not enchained with heavy shackles, when my dear father was still alive... I don't even want to remember that dreadful day! For I was forced to run away. Idola Aldercapt declared me dead so as to plant the seeds of anguish and regret in the hearts of the surviving citizens. They surrendered since they had little choice. Secretly, Idola sent out his soldiers all over the neighboring regions, including Duscae. Their focus – to either kill me on sight or bring me to him wounded to death. Having already experienced an almost deathly encounter with the troops, I can say they were willing to torture me to my final life drop. Thank God Machina was with one of these parties! I remember well the angry look on his face that spelled 'murder' when his two comrades tried to kill me. Before this episode, I survived another three or four bloody battles against them. I fought as hard as I could. As well as I had been trained. However, they had a crucial advantage – their number. I counted five up to twelve soldiers in different parties. All of them menacing. That's why I've been neglecting my needs these last three days. I even forgot to feed myself properly, my only worries concerning my safety. Nevertheless, should I have succeeded in evading the soldiers' surprise attacks, still, I could have never found enough food to keep my body healthy. Water I drank from small waterfalls I came across in the thick forest. But food! Oh, food! I have already forgotten the taste of food. Therefore, I'm not surprised at all to see my once strong legs now bony and shaky. My hip bones are also terribly visible. Perhaps my stomach has automatically shut down its functions as a security method?

"Noctis, tell me. How long has it been since you haven't eaten?"

Machina sounds like my old man right now. I smirk at him.

"Three days, I figure."

"Oh, that won't do you good!"

"You've cast Cure on me. Don't worry. I'll be fine."

His brows instantaneously close the distance between one another as he pulls away from me to lock his eyes with mine. I see raw fear in his.

"Cure just made the bullet in your chest disappear and maybe even healed some other wounds. It can't provide you with food though."

"I'll get by."

"Noctis. This is crazy people stuff!"

Ok. He's scowling.

"I care about you. To say the truth, I must say I'm amazed that you managed to stay alive five days on your own in unknown territory. Seriously now, you **need** to eat."

I open my mouth to answer but he brings a finger to my lips. This way, he takes my breath away as well. To feel him touch me in such a sensitive place…

"No, let me rephrase that: you **must** eat."

He pets my shoulders before pushing aside the crimson red cape that covers a small brown leather bag tied to his waist. One of his hands dives in to rummage for…

"Here. I know it's not gourmet but better this than nothing, right?"

Wrapped in thin red paper, he surely holds something edible in front of me. With a hopeful smile looming on his face, Machina peels off the paper, revealing – to my hungry and food deprived eyes – a deliciously looking sandwich. Oh well, to him it may seem not so delicious since the sandwich must be at least one day old, but all I know is that my mouth is watering at the sight of it. Lucky me. Here I thought I'd die of hunger!

"Machina, you're a life saver!"

No sooner do I finish saying this than I nearly jump at him to claim my prize.

"Fortunately I saved it for later needs."

He laughs softly as he watches a desperate Noctis Lucis Caelum biting greedily into the bread. Perhaps this is easily one of my most embarrassing moments ever.

"Take your time, take your time."

I don't reply, just give him a barely perceivable 'Mm-hm' from within my throat. Then I nod my head at him hoping he'd get the message. Only after several healthy bites do I stop to thank him. He yawns – to my surprise – and says:

"It's the least I can do. I really want to help you. To atone for what I did to you."

I swallow the last bit of sandwich, eyeing him curiously.

"Why are you saying this?"

"I tried to kill you, Noctis. Maybe I would have… if you hadn't screamed my name."

My jaws are about to drop. I listen to him intently.

"When I realized that you know me, a sudden revelation hit me like a bolt of lightning. I knew then you are my long lost friend."

"M-Machina, I…"

"Sshh! Don't say another word. Please hear me out. I'm so sorry. If only I had figured it out earlier… before you got shot."

"Never mind that. I'm fine now."

"Don't get your hopes up. A single light snack won't be sufficient to make you strong again."

Scarcely do I notice that I am leaning closer to him. His strength doesn't intimidate me. On the contrary, I feel safe. I feel protected. We lie down, the fresh hay being our only bed. Outside the cave we can see dark night sky, littered with tiny white glimmers among which a single one shines most brightly – the full moon, pale and forever shrouded in mystery. It's silence for a while. When I look to my left, I see my best friend. His eyes hold much concern and pity. Half of his face is covered in darkness. So far I've learned that night really is a problem in the wilderness. Without any city lights to show the way, one is meant to become a savage animal's dinner. The Duscae region is even worse. I remember that, as I was walking several days ago on the plain, I saw a message board which informed me about the existence of a dread behemoth, called 'Deadeye'. Now this thought gives me chills. I am lucky not to have bumped into that voracious of a creature!

Machina shifts next to me a little so that he can take my fragile body into his arms. The moment he touches me, I think I…

"Noctis? What's wrong?"

"N-Nothing."

But his endeavors don't stop here. He begins to play with my hair. Normally, I would hate to get my bangs ruffled. However, it's as though Machina has a secret, express pass code to pleasure me in such a tender way I could only dream of! Unconscious, I let out a silent moan. That becomes his cue.

"I'll take you away from here. I'll take you somewhere beautiful."

 _Sing something new, I've nothing left._

 _I can't face the dark without you._

Willingly – this time – I press myself against his body and I rest my head on the curve of his delectable neck. Let me hear more, my dear!

"That's it. I know what can be done. I'll call for help."

Frowning at him, I showcase my disbelief.

"What? Get real! Who would venture all the way here?"

He points to his ear and I gasp in surprise. He really had something up his sleeve.

"My colleagues will! I still have my transmitter."

Of course he has one! All soldiers with assignments do.

"Oh, so could that work?"

"Yes. I'll see if I can get a signal. Stay here, Noctis."

"D-Don't go too far!" I mutter, fear overtaking me once again.

As a reply, he gives me a warm embrace and I take a chance to place my head on his shoulder.

"I won't. No worries."

His fingers travel up to my nape, playing with my hair strands. I hear his chuckle which makes me shiver, and only after that do I notice he has planted a soft kiss on my forehead. Oh…

"Machina?"

"Don't ask me to explain this. I could never know why I did it."

Ok. His answer is so strange.

"I just feel I have to protect you. Yes, even if you're the elder one here."

"Age doesn't matter. Look at me. I'm completely helpless."

"Not for too long, I assure you."

Just like he said, he returns after a while. I am already enticed by sleep's spells, as my eyes feel heavy and sore. Placing my hands under my left cheek, I try to seek some real rest. Leaving aside the dark thoughts that haunt me relentlessly, I just lie here amidst nice smelling hay. Before falling asleep, I still hear Machina's footsteps, letting me know he's back safe and sound. A smile appears on my face. I see nothing, but I can sense him crouching to whisper at my ear:

"It's done. I was able to find help. My colleagues should arrive in a couple of hours. Be at peace. I won't be going anywhere."

"Your colleagues? But aren't they assigned with killing me too? Helping me would lead to their dismissal. Or maybe something even worse. I don't want to put them in danger!"

"It's alright, Noctis. Their homeland isn't Niflheim."

I'd like to open my eyes and talk more to him, but… ah! so sleepy…

"I'll explain everything some other time, sweetheart. You just be sure that you're safe."

Sweetheart? My heart beats so strong right now. So strong… that I can only murmur a silent 'Thank you'. After I nuzzle his chest with my nose, Machina's arms bloom out of nowhere and encircle my feeble body. We lie together, embraced in sheer bliss. From time to time he gently kisses my forehead, while his thumbs follow the line of my face. I have never been more nervous than now. He… He loves me. Of that I'm quite certain. It's not a mirage created by my wounded soul, but something that I can feel with every fiber of my being. Yes, it's crystal clear that he loves me!

"Sleep tight, my prince. Tomorrow everything will change."

One last kiss melts softly on my skin before I get to hear the most beautiful sentence ever:

"I love you, Noctis."

And I know no worries after this. I let myself be cradled by his loving arms. A single sound makes me ache all of a sudden, reminding me of how hungry I am. My stomach is crying! Crying for more food.

"Oh dear. You must be starving."

Machina tightens his embrace. This way, he presses me harder on his stronger body. I blush slightly.

"See? Told you that only a light snack won't be enough!"

"I'll… s-survive."

"Stay strong, love."

His words serve well his purpose. I couldn't care less of my current situation. With all my might I believe in a brighter future, where Machina and I will be together, my people will be free and… maybe, **just maybe** , I'll get to enjoy a pretty mean steak. This had better come true!

"By the way, I asked Ace to bring you something to eat. Once again, it won't be anything gourmet but it will sure prove more consistent than that sandwich."

With my eyes still closed, I express my surprise:

"Who is Ace?"

"My most loyal colleague. No, he's a friend. A special one. Come now, no need to feel jealous!"

"Are not!" I pout at him playfully. "So we can trust him?"

"Yes, he's already heading our way in an aircraft."

"All by himself?"

"Of course not, dear. Alongside his commander and some other Class Zero members. But like I said, I'll explain this later. Sleep now, Noctis. Just relax and dream on. Please."

"Love you too, Machina."

Perhaps my answer amazed him, but it was the only thing I could come up with. Slowly, I put one hand on my stomach, hoping it would ease my pain. The other one I lay on my hero's shoulder, to show him compassion. Then, I lose myself into the universe of slumber, waiting for Machina to follow me.


	4. Dark Memories (Machina POV)

**What Becomes of Us**

 **Chapter 4:**

 **Dark Memories**

* * *

I silently watch him fast asleep.

His head leans on his bended right arm and the other is stretched, resting on his hip. Now that's quite a view he offers me!

I lie behind him, hugging his frail body with my stronger one. I have taken my white cape off and it covers both of us now. It's not as warm as a bed would prove, but at least we're not freezing. Strange how cold it is at night. Maybe because Duscae is a mountain region? The sunlight may be pleasant, the meadow may be a wonderful place for walking, but the night sure isn't anything like this. I glance at the opening of the cave. Fog has gathered in the distance, blanketing everything that could have been seen. It's as though my sight were blurred. I can hardly make out several trees… and if I force my eyes a little harder I recognize a large body of water – the lake, inhabited by two giant Catoblepas. I don't know whether they're still there or not. Thus, I slowly get up on my feet to check out the surrounding area. How much time has it been already? Hopefully Ace won't be late. I have to save Noctis. I can't let him die now, when I've finally found him! Looking back at his sleeping form, I smile as I fix my cape on his body, trying to cover as much as possible of his open skin. I haven't told you yet that his clothes are ripped here and there. For instance, gone are his sleeves, he has claw traces on his chest that bared it in three places. Not to mention his back, where the shirt is completely absent. Just a thin piece of fabric hangs by his sides. My cape had better keep him warm! I've seen old wounds on his back and I shiver at the thought he'll scarcely recover. Seriously now, he looks like a lingering corpse. I bite furiously on my lips. It hurts me to think of this. It hurts me to think how desperately he fought to stay alive these past five days. Somewhere inside my mind I picture him: running, leaping over rocks, holding his hands together while drinking water from a waterfall, groaning as he stumbled over bushes with stinging spikes, the blood left on his skin, the tears in his eyes…

 _May it be an evening star_

 _Shines down upon you._

 _May it be when darkness falls_

 _Your heart will be true._

 _You walk a lonely road._

 _Oh, how far you are from home!_

Etro help me! I whisper 'I'll be back' to the sleeping prince and make my way outside of the cave. Hmm, the air smells lovely. I close my eyes, recalling the conversation I had with Ace.

 _Noctis pleaded me not to go too far. I chuckled, assuring him that I'll be fine. Once my transmitter blinked green, signal gathered, I remained on the top of some steep rocks (I'm absolutely positive I have no idea how the heck I reached that place) waiting for somebody to answer._

 _"_ _Akademia, come in please!"_

 _After a while, it was the commandant whose voice I heard._

 _"_ _Yes, headquarters here."_

 _"_ _Sir! Machina Kunagiri speaking."_

 _"_ _Kunagiri? Have you found the target?"_

 _I cursed the commander in a hushed tone (I would have been dead if he had heard me), with my eyes shut tight._

 _"_ _U-Unfortunately no, sir. We need more time. And backup. And supplies. My team and I are starving."_

 _Well, the truth is, the two guys I shot the other day couldn't have obviously been hungry (I hope they are burning in Hell right now), but somebody was! Furthermore, that 'somebody' being my dear Noctis, I had to make haste! My apologies, commandant, I've lied to you. Shame on me. Curious, though. I don't feel shamed at all, ha!_

 _"_ _We will send another searching party to your approximate position." he roared in my ear with his awkward voice._

 _"_ _N-No, please hold on! We could do with Class Zero's special assistance."_

 _I tried to sound as helpless as possible, as if begging for his mercy, my tone horrified and I even coughed once or twice to make him see I really needed Class Zero. They were an elite force that was not often deployed, but kept for emergencies and serious cases._

 _"_ _Sir, if I may, can I ask you to put me through with cadet number one, Ace?"_

 _Silence at the other end. Damn it, he was becoming suspicious!_

 _"_ _Soldier first class, Machina!" he shouted, freaking me out._

 _"_ _I have high expectations from you. Your task is to find the missing prince. I certainly hope you stick to it."_

 _"_ _Yes, sir! But this is nature we're dealing with. My team and I are doing our best to track him down. We just need more time and more men."_

 _I suddenly remembered Noctis had been food-deprived for days._

 _"_ _Oh, and if thou pitied us, humble soldiers, please send us some food supplies, or else we'll die of hunger before finding the target. This place called Duscae is enormous."_

 _Ok. Then I really felt shamed. I called myself 'humble soldier' while addressing the commandant in the most honorific way. I facepalmed myself._

 _"_ _Very well." he said, pleased at last._

 _The next thing that I heard was Ace's worried voice._

 _"_ _Machina? You almost never call. Has something happened?"_

 _Thank goodness the line was private and no one else could hear us._

 _"_ _Ace. I'm so glad I got the chance to talk to you. I need help. Fast."_

 _His tone rose immediately._

 _"_ _Are you hurt?"_

 _"_ _No, not me. You see, I've found the prince. He's dying, Ace. If we don't help him, Insomnia won't have a future king anymore."_

 _And I will lose my best friend. However, I didn't say that out loud._

 _"_ _The prince? I knew master Idola wanted him alive."_

 _"_ _You don't understand. I can't take him there. I want to save him."_

 _"_ _B-But your order was to..."_

 _"_ _I don't need any reminders. I've made my decision."_

 _"_ _Machina, master Idola won't tolerate this. The sentence for treason is death. I don't want to lose you."_

 _"_ _Neither do I, Ace. Trust me. I need you to come here. Bring food with you, some clothes and bandages too. He's also injured."_

 _"_ _What about your mates? Do they know you set out to help him?"_

 _"_ _I shot them."_

 _After that, I didn't hear Ace's voice for a while, just interference from my transmitter._

 _"_ _Machina, this is dangerous stuff you're doing." he finally stated, "Are you sure you have full control over your schemes?"_

 _"_ _Yes, Ace. And I will explain everything to you. Please, just come here. When you do, I'll tell you all you have to know."_

 _"_ _You're complotting behind Akademia's back."_

 _Then, I exploded._

 _"_ _Listen to me as hard as you fucking can! There's a young man here, dying. Do you get that? D-Y-I-N-G."_

 _I spelled the letters for him, hoping he would understand._

 _"_ _What's more, he's not just the prince of Insomnia, the one who that blasted Idola is looking for, he's my best friend! Yeah, I'm quite aware that while at war we don't have time to make friends, but COME ON, ACE! I live and breathe air as we speak because of him! Because his father, may Etro rest him in peace, took pity on me and took care of me! I was like a second son to him. Noctis was my brother. He offered me a roof above my head and food for my starved stomach! He offered me a chance when I had none! He saved me from death! You see why I can't surrender him to the empire? Please, be the reasonable Ace I once knew and come here at once. He'll die otherwise. I won't be able to bear that on my conscience."_

 _Taking in deep breaths, I succeeded in quenching my lungs. The little hope that was left for Noctis hung by Ace's reply._

 _"_ _F-Forgive me, Machina."_

 _What the hell?! He decided to give up on me?_

 _"_ _I didn't know the prince did so much for you. Yes, I'm leaving Akademia right away. I won't forget to take bandages, food and clothes with me. Can you tell me your approximate position?"_

 _Oh, I felt so relieved! So relieved that I burst into laughing (sad laughing). How dare Ace pull up such a prank at me? In times like this?!_

 _"_ _If I can? Of course I can. We're in the Duscae region, somewhere near a big lake, up on some rocks. We took shelter in a cave here. If Noctis can walk, we'll climb down to you. However, I doubt that he'll be able to make a single step, considering his condition."_

 _"_ _Copy that. Stay strong! I'll be there as fast as I can."_

 _Transmission out. But I kept whispering to myself 'Please, please make haste.'_

So that was my conversation with Ace.

I sit down, taking in my surroundings. Try as I might, I don't think of Noctis's pain, but I simply can't help it. I feel heavy guilt smashing my heart. So many years have passed... I was about to forget Noctis completely… I would have told myself I had always lived in Niflheim… I would have always worshipped that sad excuse of an emperor! Noctis is the one who brought me back to normal life. I realize what I've been missing out on all this time.

Affection. The need to touch somebody.

Not as to hurt them, like a soldier would think.

I feel the urge to caress the one I love. However, can I still remember what love is? They have only trained me to kill. To hold a gun in my hand and press a bloody button in order to take someone's life. To press my fingers on their neck while holding them in place – to choke them if I were to be weaponless. For now, I may not know what love is. I have discovered hate, though. Raging hate towards my 'so called' master: Idola Aldercapt. Do you want me to explain this feeling? It's something that eats you alive, then spits you out. Engulfs you once again only to give up before swallowing you. Frustration. Calamitous, violent frustration – that's what hate is. That voice you hear inside your mind which coaxes you to take revenge. To torture your enemy until their last breath. Yes, my anger has awakened. As soon as I go back to Niflheim, I'll give that bastard what he really deserves! I was a child when he asked me to join the army. He made the most of my naivety! Clenching a fist, I swear to myself I will set the score one day.

Suddenly, I reach out with my hand to grab my leather pack. I find the zipper, open it and rummage for… Oh, hell! Where did I put them?! Ah, there! I take a cigarette out. To be honest, I don't smoke too often, but when I do, it means I'm sad. Being a magic wielder, I can do without a lighter. I rotate my fingers, casting a small fire spell. Enough to lit the cigarette. Its tip becomes orange, then shifts to red as I smoke it. Hmm, I've missed this feeling. My lungs must be intoxicated by now. I'm surprised my voice hasn't got husky. Has it been 2 years since I've started smoking? Yes, something like that. It happened when I was camping with my colleagues. They were all elder than me, always debating a load of nonsense. For instance, whether girls should let hair grow between their legs or not. Or what the average size of an erect penis was. See? Nothing but bullshit. I used to smirk at them whenever they asked my opinion.

 _"_ _Y'know, I'm not quite into this kind of talk."_

 _"_ _You should be! We're not on mission, so you'd better take advantage of that."_

 _"_ _In my spare time I like to read and train."_

 _"_ _In our spare time we like to fuck and smoke."_

 _I was stunned. Were these soldiers I was talking to?_

 _"_ _Y'know, Kunagiri, our master pushes us too hard. We've had enough of battles. We want to taste the other side of life."_

 _"_ _We're cadets. Fighting is what we do."_

 _"_ _Right now, we're in the mood for a sexy party!"_

 _I must have been 15. My colleagues and I were gathered before a camp fire. My ears hurt from their nonsense. It was right there when my then-virgin-eyes watched a sexual intercourse in action for the first time. Those bastards called their 'girlfriends' to come over… and when they did… I was shocked like never before._

 _"_ _You see that, Kunagiri, that is what we call a pussy."_

 _I merely nodded. I couldn't speak._

 _"_ _And this here is a cigarette. Y'wanna know how it's done?"_

 _"_ _What? Smoking?"_

 _"_ _Yeah! It's so relaxing. Rather soothing after a day of work. Care to try one?"_

 _"_ _Does it actually relieve your mind? Does it ease your suffering?"_

 _It's not like that dude cared. Anyway, he smiled as he handed me one:_

 _"_ _Ha! It eases it alright!"_

And that's how I smoked my first cigarette. Onward, I pondered again of Noctis. How disappointed would he be if he found out what I'm doing! Yet here I sit, stupid me, blowing gray smoke out of my mouth. I shake my head in sadness, hissing, before bringing the cigarette to my lips.

I hate this.

I hate the situation I am stuck in.

I hate the fact that it's beyond my powers to help Noctis.

My thoughts then weave off towards the day I experienced sex for the first time. Don't be fooled. It was anything but pleasant. I was 16 then. I was reading quietly in the library when my colleagues arrived, shattering my peace.

 _"_ _Yo, Kunagiri! We have some business with you, man."_

 _"_ _What is it?" I asked, completely unprepared for whatever they had in mind._

 _"_ _Come and see."_

 _I made sure to leave a bookmark on the page where I left off. After that, they led me out of the room and back to our military school. I so wanted to know why the hell they were doing that if I had my spare time. Though I kept silent because I was afraid of them. Like I said, they were elder than me, holding a lot more well-grown muscles than I did at that time._

 _Once we reached our destination, they pushed me inside the male closet. I didn't even have time to think. When the door closed, three pair of arms were all over me. Squeezing, pinching, rubbing… I demanded them to stop, but the leader nonchalantly reclined himself against the door in order to make me believe I had no escape. And no escape I had. They didn't take off my clothes. Instead, they ripped them off my body. I screamed at that. Fear was kicking in._

 _"_ _Let's see what you've got." somebody said._

 _They held me down on the ground. Uncountable hands ran through my hair, pulling hard on it. Others grabbed my neck. Others clawed my chest, leaving red bruises. I remember I cried so loudly!_

 _"_ _Nice lips you have there, boy. The things you could do with them!"_

 _One of my classmates mashed his mouth on mine, his tongue forcing me to accept being kissed. Hell, it was so brutal! I tried to break free, but suddenly, another hand grasped my…_

 _"_ _Would you look at this, guys?" a voice resounded as I felt my penis being rubbed._

 _"_ _Ohoho! I had one which was the exact same size… ten years ago!"_

 _Laughter exploded around me and I could only think of how badly I wanted to die…_

 _"_ _Nah, you're too harsh with him. He's not even hard yet. Give the boy some time."_

 _They tortured me for an agonizing eternity._

 _"_ _Now check this out, Kunagiri. This is true manhood."_

 _The next second, I had his tremendous 'manhood' in my mouth. Immediately I made an attempt to force it out._

 _"_ _You should be honored to suck my dick. Not everybody has the privilege to do that to a general!"_

 _'_ _General?!' I stared at him with evil eyes, praying that the flames of Hell will devour him when the time for judgment comes. He claimed a fistful of my hair, bringing my head forward, then pushing it backwards. I don't think I wish to recall the rest. All that is left for me to say is that… I woke up on the marble floor, feeling cold and scared. Nobody was there. Nobody to caress me. Nobody to offer me their shoulder so I could cry. I gritted my teeth, sticky white fluid gushing out from between them. I screamed at the abuse. I punched the floor without receiving any cure for my pain. Those bastards left me alone, covered in their own semen. My only luck that day was that it had got dark and I wasn't seen as I made my way out. When I stepped inside my room, wrapped in some spare clothes, I just let myself fall on the bed and cried until my tears stung my eyes. Until my breath was raspy and ragged. I swore I would have my revenge. They used me as if I were a lifeless toy destined to satisfy their savage needs. They fucked me as if I were a cheap whore. Enough! From now on, I will be strong. I will be able to protect myself and the ones I love._

This brings me again to the present. So many black memories. I've almost finished my cigarette. I press it against the ground, where I leave it. My mouth might smell awful right now, but with all this stress I needed to smoke. Perhaps it's become a habit? I look at the sky. No airship can be seen. Not even a sigh that Ace is on his way. My eyes are moist when I raise a hand to wipe some tears. I truly feel lost. Wouldn't the stars above tell me which is the right way to go? They would know, having watched the lands from up there for centuries. Wouldn't they have mercy on Noctis and help him survive just one more night?

Oh, Noctis! What's happened to my mind?

I rush inside the cave. The prince is still asleep, not moving a muscle. I flinch as I picture him already gone, but fortunately I hear his calm breath. No, death can't have him yet!

I lie down next to him, without moving the cape from his body. After all, he needs it more than I do. Tightening my arms around the prince's waist, I begin to whisper a prayer. When I'm about to thank goddess Etro for keeping Noctis strong so far, I hear a heart-melting, pained moan.

"S-So hungry…"

"My dear? Are you awake?"

 _Darkness has come._

 _Believe and you will find your way._

 _Darkness has fallen._

 _A promise lives within you now._

I slowly turn his face to meet mine. Dear Etro! The color of his skin has almost faded into an unhealthy white. His lips are dry and no longer red. The small light in his eyes is the only proof that he's still alive, dangerously balancing on the edge of life and death. A terribly thin hand rests on my cheek. I do my best not to shout in fear, because I feel hard bones touching me instead of soft skin.

"Machina, if I die tonight… Please, there's something I need you to do. I may not be there for my people…"

"Stop it! Why don't you save your strength? Don't say another word!"

I pull him into my arms.

I kiss his forehead.

I gently brush his hair.

I do anything in my power to postpone his end.

"…So hungry, Machina."

My goodness, he's gotten worse than I feared.

"Oh, please!" I shout at him, "Don't give up! I have so many things I want to tell you. Noctis, hang on for me!"

"It's good to know you're here, by my side."

"I'll always be. I promise."

"Can I ask you something, dearest Machina?"

"Yes. Shall I give you…?"

He stops me in middle-sentence.

"A kiss. On the lips, please."

I smirk before reaching down to fulfill his wish. Noctis makes an effort to lock his hands behind my neck as he leans his head to left. I follow his pattern as our tongues meet, tasting each other. Argh! To think that he can smell the odor of tobacco on me… I rub his back with a hand, while the other is playing with his hair.

 _May it be the shadow's call  
_

 _Will fly away._ _  
_

 _May it be you journey on  
_

 _To light the day.  
_

 _When the night is overcome  
_

 _You may rise to find the_ _sun._

"Noctis, I don't know what I'd do if I were to lose you again!"

I see his end drawing near. No! No! No! Embracing him, I sense his heart barely beating anymore. It has no power left.

"Machina, I love you."

Eventually, I burst into tears.

"Don't tell me that! I know what comes next."

However, it is a wonderful sound that which I hear now. Yes! How I've waited to… He's here. He's finally here! I recognize the engine of the airship.

"Ace! Ace, pick up the pace!" I call out to the sky, "Noctis, help is coming right now."

The prince smiles weakly.

"You haven't given up on me."

"No, and I never will. I'll be back, sweetheart."

As quick as a flash, I run outside and no sooner do I start to climb down the rocks than I am greeted by a close friend. His voice revives my soul.

"Machina, I'm happy to see you."

"Me too, Ace."

We give each other a friendly hug.

"Took forever to find you." the blonde says, "But I remembered you mentioned some lake and here I am."

I grasp his shoulders in fear.

"This thick fog must have been the cause. Now quickly. Let's take Noctis out of here. He's not doing well. He needs medical attention and fast."

Hope still lingers even in the core of despair.

 _A promise lives within you now._

* * *

 ** _I can't believe I actually made Machina smoke... :( Please don't kill me ._**

 ** _But I'll also be the one who makes him give it up. (Or better said, Noctis will be the one)_**


	5. A New Beginning (Mixed POV)

_FIRST THINGS FIRST!_

 _This chapter ain't for the kids!_

 _I won't tell you what it actually contains, but if you're offending by *cough* sexual content *cough*, please don't read._

 _Note: my intention is NOT to make things kinky. You have my word that I always focus on emotions. _

_Love scenes are NOT to be grotesque in my writings._

 _That being said, I hereby give you:_

* * *

 **What Becomes of Us**

 **Chapter 5:**

 **A New Beginning**

* * *

 **...**

 **Sneak preview of a future scene**

...

* * *

The white, grand doors flung open, announcing the arrival of a Commanding Officer. He stepped in proudly, accompanied by other two imperial troops who acted as his 'precious' escort. In his right palm he held the butt of his luscious rifle, which stood erect as he walked towards the dismal emperor. This man was elder than him, his grayish hair hanging almost lifeless by his jaws, then mingling with his spiky beard. He was sitting thoughtfully on his dark throne, crossed-legged and holding his head down as if he were plotting a plan to subdue the whole world at his feet. A golden tiara adorned his wide, wrinkled forehead, and below it, his white, thick brows were furrowed. Evil thoughts were being conceived by his malevolent mind, while his poisoned heart could never feel remorse or grief.

"Your Excellency, we have received word that Dreadnought A7 has just departed at 10:45 am. It's heading towards the Dominion of Rubrum."

The Commanding Officer placed a hand on his chest and so did the other two. Their emperor showcased neither dissatisfaction, nor contentment. Only after a long while did he stand up from his throne. He wore the Niflheim military uniform, which only emphasized how painfully strict he was.

"When will they reach the Dominion?" he asked in a rough voice.

"According to our calculations, by nightfall, sir."

"Hmph."

He joined his hands together behind his back as he began to stroll in circles.

"Inform me immediately if they find Commander Machina. Sources affirm he's aborted his mission and fled to Akademia shortly afterwards."

Officer Kadaj, the one in the middle, nodded his head respectfully.

"Acknowledged, sir."

The two companions, Yazoo and Loz stood by his side like a shield. Emperor Idola Aldercapt sighed between his full lips.

"We have little time. Prince Noctis's body has not been found yet, which is veritable proof he is still alive."

Kadaj did not move a muscle, but followed the emperor's movements with the corner of his eyes.

"He was last sighted on the outskirts of Lucis, sir."

"That was long ago, officer." Idola cut him off, "Rumor has it that he's taken refuge in the Duscae region. I will send another brigade to track him down in the near future. Until then, I will be needing Commander Machina back into the Niflheim army. Without him, who's supposed to lead platoon number one, the infantrymen?"

The emperor halted as he rose his arms to the ceiling above him, as if praying for a miracle.

"We have successfully surrendered Lucis to our empire. However, with the prince alive, things are bound to change."

Yazoo brushed his long hair out of his eyes as he spoke:

"He will definitely want revenge."

"Let him." Idola said coldly, "I will dispose of him as soon as I have him captured."

Looking at the three imperial troops, he waved his hand nonchalantly through the air.

"Dismissed." he ordered.

As reply he was given low bows and a choir of voices:

"Sir!"

The three exited the room in perfect silence, whilst the emperor threw himself on his throne once again, returning to the evil plans that slowly began to take shape in his mind.

* * *

 **~ Noctis ~**

* * *

I... I open my eyes. Where am I?

So warm… No, it's rather hot in here.

I hear a slight groan and I realize it is mine. What happened to me?

A soft white duvet covers me as I lie nested in such a comfortable bed. Seriously now, why can't I think of the past?

Oh, right! Because I don't remember anything. Just that I met Machina… He carried me to a safe place… He called his colleagues to aid us… And now… I am here. The room has a pleasant aspect. Perhaps it's been recently cleaned. Several paintings are hanging on the wall above my bed, some illustrating a bunch of ruby roses or splendid, black horses. The furniture is creamy white. The sofa in the middle of the room looks very appealing to me. There is a table in front of it and two cups of tea are placed there. I can see the steam swirling out and that's when I am reminded of my terrible hunger… which is gone? Yes, gone with the wind.

I rub the back of my head with a hand. No mistaking my own smell of sweat. I can feel it there, on my nose, on my cheeks. How high must my temperature be? Have I gotten sick? Anyway, that was some nap I had! One of my bests so far. As I let out a loud yawn, the door opens and a brown haired young woman comes in to greet me. I blink rapidly at her, very curious. She is short, but pretty. Her beautiful hair is tied in a ponytail which makes her delicate neck stand out. Her eyes are the mildest brown I've ever seen. Oh, and her lips form a smile when she meets my gaze. Frankly, I would say she's sixteen.

"Good morning, prince Noctis."

I nearly jump at such words. What? I am no longer prince! Do I know her? Because she definitely seems to know me.

"G-Good morning to you too…" my mouth manages to mumble.

"I sure hope you feel better."

She holds a silver tray in her hands which she puts down on the bed. Sweet heaven! She brought me breakfast! This time I won't get to eat just a simple sandwich, but I'll have the chance to taste this lovely salad and these deliciously looking mashed potatoes. Without noticing, I take in a deep breath to savor the scent of food after giving her a questioning look. She nods, encouraging me to help myself.

"We were so worried about you, highness."

I try to be as polite as I can, but I have to ask her this.

"Excuse me, how is it that you know me?"

She gasps and immediately stands up, making a low bow.

"My apologies. Our friend, Machina, told us about you. I feel terrible for your losses, prince Noctis. At first, we went on telling him that helping you would lead us to trouble. However, we couldn't leave you, unprotected and nearly dying. Once Machina and Ace brought you here, my friends and I have been taking care of you. My name is Deuce, by the way."

"Deuce? You're…"

"A member of Class Zero."

"Class Zero?"

I frown at her. Wow! I've got so much to learn.

"You are now at Akademia, in the dominion of Rubrum. We are an ally of Niflheim…"

Bingo. I could have bet my life on it!

"…But that doesn't mean we don't have our pride or our conscience. We won't attack somebody who's simply not one of us."

My lower lip suddenly feels sore. I wonder why. Ah, stupid me! It's because I'm biting on it.

"Liiike me, for instance?"

I take a fork in my hand and enjoy my first healthy mouthful after days of hunger.

"Well, you're not just 'somebody', but the prince of Lucis, the last member of the royal family." Deuce affirms.

She sighs in the end. Must have noticed that my heart gets powerfully squeezed by sad memories when I hear that.

"Yes, affirmative. Idola Aldercapt, emperor of Niflheim is looking for me. Moreover, he wants me to die a slow, painful death. Since your dominion – Rubrum you said, right? – is an ally of Niflheim, why wouldn't you surrender me to the imperial troops? If they find out you're hiding me from them… No! You're even protecting me…"

"My prince, please do not be worried."

Deuce places a hand on my forehead, then withdraws it quickly.

"See? The more dark thoughts you conceive, the more likely your fever is to get worse."

So that's it. I sensed there's something not good going on with me.

"Fever?"

She gently brushes my right cheek. Her soft fingers feel good, but nowhere near as blissful as Machina's. Which reminds me… Where is he?

"I'll explain it." Deuce says, "You see? You were so powerless when you got here that we needed to give you some medicine first. You may not remember, though. We also cast magical spells on you, more efficient than a casual Cure. The bad news is, your body reacted to all this healing and…"

"I've caught a fever."

"Yes. But it will soon be over. Finish your breakfast with composure, my prince. Would you wish a supplement, don't hesitate to ask. We really hope to be of help."

My eyes close in relief. Thank goodness, I am safe!

"That's very kind of you, Deuce. I do wonder where Machina is now."

She sighs heavily, which makes me think of the worst that could happen to my dear friend.

"He's… in severe danger. His hometown is Niflheim, but he often comes here to see us. You know, we're allies."

"Yes, and since he helped me get away from the imperial army…"

"The emperor will grow suspicious." Deuce completes.

"Ah, that's bad! It's like I sent him to his death!"

"D-Don't worry, my prince. You are not to blame. We'll say he's come at Akademia to spend some time with us."

"Except he was on a high priority mission, my lady. How on Earth will he explain why he aborted it? How? Without a lucrative reason?"

Deuce just takes my hand in hers and kisses it humbly. I instantly feel as though I've been turned to stone. She needn't be so formal! Like I said, I'm no longer prince. My stunned gaze studies her very carefully as she lets go of the hand that she believes will rebuild Lucis. It is mine, but I can't detect even the smallest surge of determination in its veins.

"I do not yet know, your highness. I promise I will do everything in my power to come up with an answer to your inquiry."

"Deuce, please!"

I gather some strength to sit on the bed after finishing my salad. She intently watches me.

"My apologies. Did I do something wrong?"

"No, but please don't call me that. I'm prince no more. Just refer to me as Noctis."

If I over think things seriously, I can't find the name 'Lucis' suitable for me anymore. How am I supposed to bear it? I've dishonored my country by running away as it was falling to peaces. I couldn't protect it. Not to mention the last one – 'Caelum'. I've stained my family's honor with my coward and stupid actions. I don't even dare to use this name from now on. There's nothing left of the dignified prince I once was. No. **'Noctis'** is all that's remained for me, all that's left of me.

"I understand." Deuce says quietly, "It will take some time until you recover…"

And here she really makes an effort to use my first name! I see her lips quivering as she tries to choose the appropriate words.

"…N-Noctis, but soon you will feel strong again. Trust me."

I give her a small nod, then I ask:

"Is Machina coming any time soon? I wish to greet him."

"I believe he is at Central Command. The commandant wanted a word with him."

"Oh. If you happen to run into him, please tell him to see me when he has time."

"Will do. I just hope you'll keep in mind that he is a cadet, which means orders from higher-ups always come first."

"Definitely."

She makes a small bow in front of me and leaves. When the door shuts, I take another bite from my mashed potatoes. God, do they feel tasty! I think I'll continue eating for the rest of the following three days. Or… not? Wh-What's happening to me? Why all of a sudden…? No! I don't want to cry! Get out of my mind! I hate you. My eyes close in fear. Everything turns black. And then, I hear it. An ethereal voice calls me. I search through the darkness of my soul and I can, at last, see **him**. He takes so much after me. One could say we're the same person. Well, the truth is, he holds half of what I am.

 _Drop it, Noctis. You aren't going to eat anything anymore._

A bolt of lighting might have struck me, because I do exactly as he demands of me.

 _I should be pitied to look at you. How weak you've become!_

If only I could talk back to him! He somehow manages to leave my flesh and, like a phantom, he hovers in front of the bed. He's shrouded in a white glow, his body is barely perceptible. But he **is** here. I can feel him. I can even see him. His eyes are pure fire. His skin – chalky white. Only his lips are dark and thin.

 _You are a shame for your family! I can tell they are all mourning, up there, in the kingdom_ _of Etro._

I hold my temples between my hands. Stop talking like this. You're not real!

 _Why don't you die? It will be easier for the both sides. Idola won't have to look for you anymore and you'll be reunited with the ones you so terribly miss._

I-I'm insane. I see a ghost. I hear his demonic voice.

 _You still believe Machina can save you?_

As I live and breathe, this ghost really has a brain of his own!

 _Yes, he does wonders with his unrivaled strength. But do you think he can protect you from your sick, pathetic self?_

Oh, perhaps if I lean back and press a pillow on my face, the voice will fade away. I even pull the duvet up to shield me from this evil spirit. What hurts the most is that… I am him. He is me. There is just no way I can get rid of him! What if… what if I beg him? Are ghosts capable of sympathizing?

"Please, leave me be! I don't want to die. I don't want to be alone."

Strange, but he doesn't answer. Do I dare to be happy?

 _You haven't changed a bit, good-for-nothing prince. Waste yourself there and lament your fated end!_

A load roar smashes against my ears and I squeeze the pillow between my arms in fear. Then I realize the ghost is laughing at me with all his might. I wish I didn't have to do this, but… I'm crying. Once again, I'm the prisoner of my own misery. Trapped inside my ill mind, tormented by this ephemeral fiend… I can't help it. I'm crying.

* * *

 **~ Switched to Machina ~**

* * *

This sucks!

This seriously sucks! For ten minutes I've been staring so… so emotionlessly at this almost bald, round-headed man who simply doesn't know when to stop yelling! I hate **him**. I hate **him**! Stupid commandant. What are you thinking about right now? Something like stabbing me with your super shining eyes or poking me in the ribs with the sharp fingers you keep pointing at me? Would you just get lost?! I've got more important things to take care of. He keeps running in circles up and down the room, making heavy, loud steps. Eventually he stops, sighs, and…

"Kunagiri, how dare you come back empty handed? As far as I know, your task was…"

"Please, sir, maintain your calm. I'm certain I have an explanation to give."

Dear Etro, I actually did something to shut his mouth! Stunned and stupefied, he grits his teeth as I do my best to… conceive a credible lie.

"If I recall, I have told you that I need backup. The prince is nowhere to be seen. It's like he completely vanished from earth's surface."

"I couldn't care less about any of that! We have received word from Niflheim saying emperor Idola has sent a squad to Rubrum as to pick you up."

Damn it! They want me back? I am not to leave Noctis all alone, here in the eye of the storm!

"That… can't happen, sir. I don't wan to leave just yet."

"You aborted your mission and you're telling me you don't want to leave?!"

The whole room trembles due to his powerful voice. I bite my lower lip and try my hardest to endure this loud noise.

"Since when have you begun to make decisions on your own?!"

"M-My apologies, sir. I don't know what I was thinking."

He menacingly steps towards me and I gulp heavily. How I wish to punch him in the face! If only I could…

"Let me clarify the situation for you: emperor Idola has found out that you failed on your mission. He sent a squad of ten to take you back to Niflheim. They should be arriving at night fall."

"Y-Yes."

"You are to board the airship when they get here. Until then, you have permission to use your free time as you see fit. Any questions?"

"No, sir."

"Then get out of my sight."

And I do just that. The moment I close the door of his office behind me, my eyes roll on their own accord and I feel like summoning my Twin Rapiers to destroy something. Fortunately, a more peaceful thought slips inside my mind: I have to talk to Noctis! I have to check on him to see if he's fine. Should I remember how our flight devolved?

 _His breath came in short puffs. His hand trembled in mine as I traced my fingers on it, encouraging him. He chewed as hard as he could the last slice of bread and jam that I gave him. He managed to crack a smile at the sight of the Milka biscuits I offered him as dessert. After that… he just closed his eyes and didn't even spell a sound anymore. My sadness was enlivened._

 _"_ _Machina, for how long has he been like this?" Ace asked me in a hushed tone._

 _"_ _For days." I answered._

 _A sigh escaped my lips. Anguish became stress, which smashed against my fast-beating heart and I instinctively reached my hand for a cigarette. The moment I touched it, however, reality hit me square in the back: Class Zero was there with me, along with their commanding officer. I couldn't do it there, lest I should have been dismissed. All my muscles tensed and my jaws felt like iron. I so needed a brief moment of collectedness! The airship's engine was our only background sound, at times accompanied by Noctis's small grunts. The fact that I really wanted to help him already became a secret unavoidably shared by many people. Ace and his classmates seemed shocked and unwilling to cope with this grave situation… at first. I had to explain them how I tracked down the prince in Duscae, how one of my colleagues mercilessly shot him… Of course, I didn't give them details on how dear Noctis was to me. I just said: 'I wish no danger to befall him.'_

 _Some Class Zero members were quick to understand me. The mild Deuce, for instance. She was completely touched by this story. It didn't take her long to stand up and affirm: 'I'll do everything I can to help him.' From where I stood, I could see Ace smiling at her and she blushed under his gaze. Hmm… (?) Never mind that. Cater agreed to take part in this too. Cinque pondered a short while and after looking at Noctis's sleeping form with sad eyes, she nodded her head. Afterwards, everybody uttered a 'yes' altogether, like a choir… apart from Sice, who was difficult to deal with. Nine also shrugged his shoulders in a careless manner. However, their good heart did not allow them to abandon Noctis. Oh, thank Etro! In the end, we all thought of ways of hiding the prince from Niflheim. Cadet number three, Trey, gave us much needed help. His intelligence and fast plotting were amazing. Queen, the so-called 'class leader', stepped in too, offering her own suggestions. I watched them with a happy smile looming on my lips. Class Zero hadn't changed much since my last visit in Rubrum. No, they were only a year older. That was all. Nothing more to it. The girls welcomed me in loud cheers (Cinque was the cheerleader) as soon as I stepped inside the airship. Surely, there were several exceptions. I probably needn't say that Sice didn't actually open her arms to hug me. But she still treated me like a friend and I admired that._

 _Commander Kurasame walked near the stretcher on which Noctis lay. I bowed to him when he laid his eyes on me._

 _"_ _Machina? Machina Kunagiri?"_

 _"_ _Yes, sir. Currently awaiting orders."_

 _I took care to stand in the appropriate position before him, like the soldier I was._

 _"_ _Your actions truly confuse me._ _"_ _he said and his head fell down._

 _Uh-oh. Why this disappointed voice?_

 _"_ _No, sir. Please let me explain!"_

 _He silenced me with a raised hand. My mouth closed audibly, dry and helpless._

 _"_ _I have heard you talking to Class Zero. Perhaps I can say I admire your kindness. But I don't understand why you aborted your mission. To hear that you killed your colleagues…"_

 _I bit my lip in frustration._

 _"…_ _who did nothing wrong but followed orders. I didn't expect this from you,_ _ **honor student**_ _."_

 _I couldn't look him in the eye anymore. Just then, Commander Kurasame placed his hands on my shoulders and I gasped, scared by his gesture. It took me off guard._

 _"_ _But cadet Ace also informed me that the prince saved your life when you were a child. If he is your friend, it is understandable that you do not want to harm him."_

 _I smiled, relieved. The commander promised me he'd try to keep Noctis's true identity a secret once we would reach Rubrum._

 _"_ _To see the day I get to meet the son of King Regis Caelum in person…" he spoke._

 _"_ _Yes. His destiny is to avenge the fall of his country."_

 _"_ _I'm afraid he and only he can do that. Our efforts will limit at helping him regain his equilibrium. From there on, once he is capable of fighting again, he must face his enemy alone. Such is fate's will."_

 _I knew Commander Kurasame was a wise man. His sense of right and wrong that never wavered, his desire to fight in the name of the people he loved, his sobriety on the battlefield, his mildness moderated by strong maturity… All of these made him a pleasant company, but also a harsh person sometimes. He was one of the few commandants who were truly devoted to their task._

 _"_ _Please, I cannot accomplish this mission! I could never do something to harm him."_

 _"_ _Be at peace, cadet." he reassured me, "We will find a way to help him."_

 _Silence._

 _"_ _Yeah, and in the meantime we also have to watch out for Niflheim searching parties!" Sice informed us with a sarcastic little laugh of hers._

 _I breathed in, ready to risk whatever it took for Noctis's safety._

 _"_ _I'll deal with it. If we run into them, let me do the talking."_

 _"_ _You dragged us into this mess!" she scoffed, "I hope you won't sacrifice us all for only one person."_

 _The others gasped at her remark._

 _"_ _No, Sice. We agreed to lend Machina a hand. He didn't force us to help Noctis."_

 _"_ _Maybe we can ask him to join our side!" Jack said, optimism not leaving his face._

 _Seven opened her eyes as wide as she could, turning towards him._

 _"_ _What did you say?"_

 _"_ _I said, 'What if Noctis became one of us?'"_

 _"_ _Oh, that will never work!" Nine growled, "he doesn't have it in him to be a cadet. Besides, it's not that easy. First, he'll have to swear faith to the Vermilion Bird Crystal. Do you think he'll agree?"_

 _Unexpectedly, we heard some pained cough from behind us. Noctis fluttered his eyelashes as he struggled to awake. I glanced quickly at him over my shoulder. He murmured words that we did not understand. It sounded like old Latin to me. Was it a song? Not that I have it excellent with music, but he really sang beautifully._

 _"_ _That's enough for now." Commander Kurasame told us when Noctis's voice ceased, "First, our priority is to help him recover. Then we can decide our next move depending on what the prince chooses. And while doing this, we need to exercise do caution so as not to make Niflheim_ _ **our**_ _enemy."_

 _"_ _Yeah, Milites already causes us enough headaches!" Cater said._

 _And we all laughed. Even the commander's lips raised in amusement. I smiled bitterly. Quite a steep path I had yet to walk on my way to victory…_

So much for that.

I think I shouldn't worry anymore.

Yeah, everything is under control. For now.

I decide to pay Noctis a visit. Like the commandant said, I have permission to spend my free time to my heart's content. Hopefully, those bastards from Niflheim won't arrive too soon. I'll still get a chance to talk to him about… some other intimate things.

* * *

 **~ Switched to Noctis ~**

* * *

It feels as if I've been asleep for a while now. I can't tell whether my body aches or not. I'm numb. The demon is gone. But it's obvious that he will return again to torture me. Well, better him than emperor Idola…

All that crying consumed whatever strength I gathered. I remember my breathless sobs. I remember the warm tears falling down my cheeks, having neither number, nor stop. When I lift a finger to my face, I find it salty. I'd be quite damned! How much have I been crying?

Slowly, I turn to face the bedside table where I placed what was left of my breakfast. Should I? Should I not? A very faint voice inside my mind demands of me that I stay put. Oh, no! He's back! The demon… He doesn't take human appearance, just lingers there, haunting and threatening. He's taken over my free will. **How** did this happen? **When** did this happen? **Why** can't I do anything against it? I wish Machina were here to kiss away my pain. However, that means sharing it with him. I wouldn't want to because I know he is a soldier, already having enough worries and tasks. No, I won't tell him. I'll keep it just for me. He doesn't deserve to taste my suffering. I will spare him of that. But still… it would be good to have his arms embrace me right now. When he held me there, in that cave… for once, after the invasion of my country, I felt safe. Protected. Loved. Yes, this is how I want to feel! The demon snarls at me and somehow I win this round. He gives up the fight. I'm afraid to smile. Just one loss won't mean that he will completely leave me. So I'm cautious, suddenly realizing that thinking about Machina makes me strong. I have to keep this in mind and the next time the demon appears, I'll use this weapon against him! Fear him, you fiend! Machina could kill you in a heartbeat.

I gaze at my hands, hissing at how feeble they look. Once upon a time, they were strong enough to hold a sword. My waist seems incredibly thin. Why? Could it be due to the demon's destructive influence on me? Is that why I've become so weak? It sounds like a fair reason. Aww… But I want to break free of this depression, eating me alive. I want to live again. I want… (What do I want?) him. Yes, I think he will be the best cure for me. Or so I wish to believe. My eyes close as I imagine him by my side, tracing his fingers on my forehead, fixing my hair. Do I love that! I relax, at last. It would be wonderful if he were here! To lie down and settle himself above me… Okay, he would definitely crush me, considering my current weight. Yet I yearn to have him all just for my now so selfish self! He'd press his cheek onto mine and I'd grasp his shoulders. He'd whisper 'I love you so much' in my left ear before nipping it softly and I'd sigh with pleasure. I already feel… hot. No joking, I mean it. Perhaps my erotic needs still exist somewhere deep down and I've awakened them. Hmm, I'm alone, aware of the fact that someone might bust their way in at anytime. This only makes it more interesting… and risky. Machina, where are you?

I can't help it. I **need** this. So my hands offer to cooperate with me. What joy! I massage my neck, dreaming of how he would adorn it with kisses. Then I wish to go lower, but the duvet is standing in my way, keeping me from my destination. After an encouraging bite on my bottom lip, I push the 'barrier' aside and my hands rush under my shirt. Wow, I didn't even see this new one! They must have given it to me while I was still unconscious. It's nice, having a navy color and the words 'GO FOR IT' printed on it in white. Oh, I will definitely go for **it**!

My body feels indeed bony as my hands touch it here and there. The ribs are scaring me. Let's count them. See if they're 24. I scoff at my own sense of humor. I begin to hum a song when I discover my heart, still beating, still making efforts to help me live in this world. Poor little you. Let me give you the pleasure you need. And I do just that, running my fingers in circles above it. Ah, feeling good! Machina, seriously now, where are you? You wouldn't want to miss out on this: your boyfriend. Touching himself. Rather naughtily, hehe!

I conjure up a romance movie and set it on inside my mind. The first scene opens up with a black background, only two voices filling the silence: his and mine. We're both calling each other's names as we moan together and hold our breath as we kiss. Enticing, right? I chuckle. Emboldened, my hands slip lower to reach that place which twitches nervously. I see white stars behind my eyes. Is that possible? Burning pleasure… burning pleasure… And the movie rolls onward! Machina is teasing my nipples, curious to see how they react under his palms. Hmm, positively, of course! I arch my back for him and he sucks the taut skin of my stomach, making me squirm. Ah, right there!

I barely realize I'm already touching my pleasure core. Even through the fabric of the pants, it is noticeable that my desire is erect, ready for further stimulation. Do I dare to? I haven't done this since… a long time! I'm not that brave anymore, so I cover myself with the duvet. However, the hands have not left yet the warm place between my thighs. I stare at the door with anxious eyes as I trace the length of my hard member. Too risky! What if… What if I get caught? What would they think of me? If only my need hadn't been so… so needy! Cursed door, don't you open any time soon, please! I have to finish my movie.

So yeah, where were we? Machina props himself on his knees to take off the shirt that hides his strong chest from my hungry eyes. He gives me a naughty smile and leans in to kiss me. Oh, boy! Our tongues taste each other, even make love to each other! This excites me to unearthly levels. My skin is burning. **Everything** around me is burning! How I'd love to be kissed like that for real. 'Don't stop' I mewl, brushing his hair. He holds me close – so close that our noses might break. His fingers follow the contour of my face. When they stop on my lips, I kiss them softly, our gazes never leaving each other. 'I want more' are my words. He playfully shakes his index at me, saying 'Are you sure you want to be intoxicated with pleasure?' I remain silent. But just as I nod my head, he sinks to my hips and holds them in place. I shudder. Be careful what you wish for, they say. The movie is becoming too much for me to bear. I can't afford to dream about such things. Would he truly love me like this? I frown, focusing to see the continuation of the movie, but the image becomes blurry. Oh, no! Could it be because I haven't tasted real love yet? Could it be because I actually don't know what it feels like to make love? The Machina in my movie turns into a shadow and I can only watch each other kissing. We're naked, engaged in a wonderful foreplay. That's all. I can't see more than this. I can't even see his naked body, just the color of his skin. My imagination won't allow me.

But that doesn't stop me from pleasing myself. With my eyes unwilling to open, dreaming of how Machina and I would have some time alone just for the two of us, I push my undergarments off and moan sharply as I feel my desire – hot, firm. The room is silent, occasionally filled with my erotic sounds. It really is amazing. I need more of this.

* * *

 **~ Switched to Machina ~**

* * *

I'm on my way to his room when somebody calls my name. Relieved that the voice doesn't belong to a higher-up, I look back. Deuce is running towards me, holding some pills in her hand. She traverses the hall at high speed (man, I'm jealous!) and nearly bumps into me.

"Wow, take it easy."

"S-Sorry."

She gasps for breath, trying to form a sentence.

"Machina, t-this here… You have to… have to give it to…"

"Deuce, how about you relax first?"

I give her a smile, telling her that everything is alright.

"Phew, thanks."

She fixes her hair behind her ears and shows me the pills.

"It's medicine. For Noctis. Make sure he takes them."

I raise an eyebrow in curiosity.

"Both?"

"Yes, the first one will reduce his pain caused by hypoglycemia. And the other is for his fever."

I see Deuce really was keen on biology. Her medical knowledge is a lot wider than mine.

"Hypoglycemia? What's that?"

And she answers me like a teacher giving her students a lecture:

"Deficiency of glucose in the bloodstream."

Can't believe this, but I do slap myself in front of her very eyes! Ouch, my cheek hurts. Deuce watches me, perplexed, as I grin slyly.

"Sorry, can you say that again? This time, please speak English."

"Oh, but it was in English even before… Wait. I understand."

She shakes her head.

"Machina, biology classes are to be attended. We're cadets, they're sending us to real-time war. We have to know things regarding our health."

"Why don't you tell that to the Niflheim army? They didn't teach us anything apart from fighting, fighting and **once again** fighting."

"Oh, forgive me. I didn't know that. Sometimes I forget that you're actually not living here with us."

I sigh hearing this.

"I wish I could live with you. Akademia is a lot brighter than Niflheim."

"They don't call it The Land of the Dead for nothing. Well, anyway, hypoglycemia is a serious matter of concern. It usually occurs when the reserves of the body run out. You know, like a Magitek Armor which loses its energy."

"And why would it lose?"

"Um, lack of food, tumultuous life-style, lack of sleep, physical tiredness."

I count all of these factors as she enumerates them to me. I think about Noctis. It makes sense. He looked utterly exhausted the day before. Deuce places the medicine in my hand, adding:

"The fever was an unwanted reaction to our healing methods. Strange, because both Lucis and Rubrum rely on magic."

"Will he be strong again?"

"In a couple of weeks, yes."

I thank her and she takes her leave, waving at me with a small hand. I do the same as I step backwards.

"Please give the prince… I mean Noctis! my regards."

"Will do."

Not after a long time, I reach his room. I'm so glad we'll have the opportunity to talk in peace and quiet! However, just when I touch the doorknob, I decide not to barge in. On the contrary, I stand still, eagerly listening to a familiar voice beyond the door.

"Mmm… Machina, I love you! T-Take me, I'm yours!"

My hand lingers there, never wanting to do something that might bring these wonderful words to an end. I can't describe the happiness taking over my face. Dear Etro! He's seeking pleasure by himself? How selfish. Nah, I'm joking. He deserves to feel good. Especially now. Sighing, I carefully lean against the wall. Noctis's moans are tickling my ears. I'm content that nobody else is here to hear this. Oh, and I love his way of thinking! He is indeed mine. My own. I'm not supposed to ruin his jerking-off session, aren't I? Following his pattern won't be a wise decision, since 'intruders' have always been endowed this special gift – to step in exactly at the wrong time. My heart has already fastened its beats. I'm not sure I'll be able to…

"You make me strong. Ah, please d-don't stop!"

A white bulb is switched on inside my mind.

Can't believe how sexually sensitive he is! I won't make the most of this, but I may be the key to helping Noctis stand again on his own feet.

* * *

 **Personally, I love how things have turned out!**

 **It will be a pleasure to write more. Please let me know what you think. My task is to create stories that can be read easily and with pleasure!**

 **SPOILER for those curious readers: the world of Orience has been reshaped. Lucis is officially part of it (in my story, of course) There will be a war, and the alliances will be Lucis-Rubrum, Milites-Niflheim, and yeah, Rubrum and Niflheim won't be at peace anymore. Oh, and Ace and Deuce will also have time alone, not just Machina and Noctis :D**


	6. Cancer & Scorpio (Machina POV)

**What Becomes of Us**

 **Chapter 6:**

 **Cancer & Scorpio**

* * *

 _Of course I did not interrupt his solo session._

 _No, I just smirked to myself before spinning on my heels to take my leave. Noctis's medicine had to wait. To kill some time, I made my way to the lounge, hoping to find some acquaintances there. Oh, and wasn't I lucky! I ran into Nine, who was furious he had got his spear stained with mud during his last training. I laughed at him when he growled, explaining me how difficult it was to rub off all that undesired substance. I told him that was nothing compared to my rapiers. The thought of cleaning them never crossed my mind. Nine poked my shoulder as he pushed a glass of lemonade to my side of table. We wished each other wealth and sanity before leaving the two glasses empty._

 _After that… what else did I do?_

 _I snoozed lazily on a couch until Cinque's unearthly laughter woke me up. She was dragging Cater by her hand, screaming out loud that 'Trey-Trey' (who's this?) agreed to have dinner with her that evening. Oh, she must have meant Trey! I forgot she loved to give funny nicknames to her classmates. If only I could enjoy a good joke the way I once used to!_

 _Certain that I would not find a quiet place there, I decided to check on Noctis, to see if he'd finished… When I pressed my ear to the door, I no longer heard his excited moans. Perhaps he was sleeping. As I was pondering whether to get inside or not, an unknown voice demanded my attention:_

 _"_ _I heard the prince of Lucis is here. Commander Kurasame has told me."_

 _I turned back, frowning quickly in curiosity at the smiling woman before me. Her brown hair was tied up in a huge, voluptuous ponytail._

 _"_ _Um, that's right, misses…?"_

 _"_ _Emina. I am a doctor. I was sent here to see prince Noctis."_

 _"_ _Oh."_

 _I choked with this single word. Well, it's not my fault, but she was incredibly intimidating! The lascivious way she bent forward to give me a hint of just how round her breasts were…! I would have stepped backwards to defend myself from that provoking view, unless the damned door hadn't blocked my path. Remembering the conversation I had had with Deuce, I dug my hand in my pocket and took out the two pills. I showed them to Mrs. Emina. Subtly then, I made a few steps to the left so as to evade her piercing gaze._

 _"_ _I was told to give Noctis these."_

 _"_ _I will gladly do it for you, young man." she said as she pressed the doorknob._

 _"_ _My name is Machina. Nice to meet you."_

 _She nodded her head._

 _"_ _I see you're wearing the empire's military uniform. You come from Niflheim, do you not?"_

 _"_ _Yes, I thought of paying a visit to my Class Zero friends."_

 _"_ _Do you happen to know the prince?"_

 _Must I say how discreet my lie was?_

 _"_ _Not much. But I know he needs our help."_

 _"_ _I'll take it from here, Machina. You may go."_

 _She was sending me away? Nice. I obeyed without complaining. However, deep inside I wished I could have been the one inside the room with Noctis._

 _"_ _He's in good hands." I heard somebody talk behind me, "Akademia's doctors have healed even graver illnesses."_

 _When I looked back, I found Ace beside me, his hands placed on his hips and his head tilted to the left. He was wearing the uniform issued to Class Zero, consisting of a pair of tight, white pants, a long, black tunic with a few yellow stripes and last but not least, a crimson cape. I must say, we were much alike, he and I. The only difference was that I wore white from head to toe._

 _"_ _I sure hope so, Ace."_

 _"_ _I've come to see how he is."_

 _"_ _Well, Mrs. Emina has just beaten you to it. Me too."_

 _"_ _Oh. Then we'll wait till we're allowed to pay him a visit."_

 _I crossed my arms on my chest. An idea had popped inside my mind._

 _"_ _Ace, can I ask you something?"_

 _"_ _Sure. What is it?"_

 _I rubbed my temple with a hand. How was I supposed to say that?_

 _"_ _Ace, I won't be able to stay here with him forever. Emperor Idola has already demanded my return to Niflheim."_

 _The shy blonde boy furrowed in uncertainty. I mumbled some other words but he didn't catch them. Then I bit on my lip. Ace was trustworthy. We could share anything. All those years, even though we hadn't been together every day, he proved me what a great friend he was._

 _"_ _This is personal, Ace. I suppose you can keep it a secret, okay?"_

 _He gave me a gaze full of worry and anxiety mixed altogether. His eyes were wide open._

 _"_ _Yes, this will stay just between the two of us."_

 _"_ _Good."_

 _As I was about to tell him how deeply in love I was with Noctis, a beep-ing sound distracted me. I heard it once, twice, louder and louder. Ace raised his index finger at me, motioning I had to hold up a second. That's when I realized he had an earphone, just like me. He pressed it and we both recognized Commander Kurasame's voice._

 _"_ _Cadet Ace?"_

 _"_ _Speaking." he said politely._

 _"_ _The invasion on the Kingdom_ _of Concordia_ _is to commence as scheduled. Report to Classroom Zero immediately to receive your mission briefing."_

 _My mouth was left gapping open. Invasion? Kingdom_ _of Concordia? And here I dared think we could enjoy some peace!_

 _"_ _Sir! On my way."_

 _The sadness on Ace's face was as clear as the sky above Akademia. I could sense he did not wish to fight anymore. He had had enough._

 _"_ _Forgive me, Machina, but duty calls. Tell me quickly. I promise I won't let anybody else know it."_

 _"_ _W-Wait, you actually want me to…?"_

 _"_ _Yes, but do hurry up."_

 _I smirked lightly, placing both of my hands on his shoulders as if I were to imbue him with supreme power. I decided to subtly avoid details about Noctis and me, which made me summarize my speech:_

 _"_ _Ace, take care of Noctis. I know it will be difficult to have the prince of Lucis around, as the Dominion of Rubrum and Niflheim are sworn allies. I know the empire will not hesitate to turn their arms against you if they found out you're keeping the last member of the royal family away from them. Yeah, risky as hell. But Noctis is injured and weak. At least watch over him until he gets stronger again. Should Idola have him in his grasp, Noctis will not make it out alive. Then I'd never forgive myself. I've told you we've been friends from childhood. He's… very important to me."_

 _Can't believe it. I said it. I was expecting the worse, since I knew well Ace was loyal to his country. He looked up at me._

 _"…_ _Machina, do you even need to ask?"_

 _Huh?_

 _"_ _Class Zero has promised you, remember? We were in the airship."_

 _I smiled, unable to contain my happiness. On the spur of the moment, I hugged Ace with all my might. He also wrapped his arms around my waist. Ah, it really felt good to have such amazing friends like him!_

 _"_ _Commander Kurasame wishes to protect him as well. He understands Noctis is special to you, and so do I."_

 _It was obvious I didn't have to explain I loved Noctis. Ace was aware of that. I felt his embrace tighten._

 _"_ _Oh, you have no idea…!"_

 _"_ _Relax, Machina."_

 _I pet his hair._

 _"_ _Yeah, I will."_

 _He pulled back slowly, before adding:_

 _"_ _I gotta go now. Time for my mission briefing."_

 _"_ _Keep your guard up. Concordia has full control over monsters."_

 _"_ _Don't worry. We have magic as our most powerful weapon."_

 _He winked playfully at me._

 _"_ _And about Noctis… I'll be sure to stick with him. I'll help him train once he gets better. You know how open I am when it comes to making friends, right?"_

 _"_ _Yes, this is my Ace!"_

 _We poked each other's arms, grinning. Then he took his leave as he waved at me:_

 _"_ _See ya, Machina."_

 _"_ _Watch yourself out there!"_

 _I pressed my back against the wall behind me, whispering to myself: 'Don't die, Ace. Just don't die.'_

* * *

 _Later on, I still couldn't go talk to Noctis. Mrs. Emina and many other doctors whom I did not recognize were entering his room in haste only to slam the door open as they rushed back elsewhere. In a heartbeat, Deuce passed by me like a tempest. She gave me a content gaze._

 _"_ _Sorcery has just made a great improvement to Cure." she said._

 _"_ _I thought it can only heal wounds."_

 _"_ _With this new version of the spell, it might be possible to return Noctis some of his lost energy. Of course, that doesn't mean he can keep himself from eating."_

 _I raised an eyebrow, unable to follow her properly._

 _"_ _Why would he refuse to eat?"_

 _Deuce let out a sad sigh._

 _"_ _Depression, you know. We have to make sure he doesn't neglect his own needs. Most people suffering from severe depression tend to do so."_

 _Quickly after she rushed inside Noctis's room, leaving me utterly confused. I knew well what depression was. I knew what it felt like to starve yourself. I did this once or twice, but doing so I risked to gracefully be kicked out of the Niflheim army. Perhaps my depression manifested differently from Noctis's. I closed my eyes for a few seconds to send my prayers to Etro. Nobody told me what had been happening behind that door. I could only hope with all my soul that whatever they did, Noctis would be offered a new lease of life. A ray of hope. A ray of hope to light through his dark. Erotic thoughts managed to cloud my mind, and I remembered how desperate I was to just take a chance to kiss him again… and again… and again. Painfully slow. Romantic._

 _Magical sounds were heard from his room, along with the pleased voices of the doctors'. Seemed like Cure did work. Oh, thank Etro! Who would have thought Deuce had grown so strong in healing magic? To the best of my knowledge, she did better in fire spells. Minutes passed. I tapped my fingers on my belt. Waiting was and still is_ _ **not**_ _my forte._

 _"_ _Congratulations, cadet. Prince Noctis's nervous tension has been reduced to its normal value."_

 _Mrs. Emina placed a praising hand on Deuce's right shoulder as they both appeared within my sight. I watched, intrigued. I smiled at Deuce. Her kindness was making me feel as if I were a good man, while I was not. Even so, it was nice having her around. I could never act violently or speak vulgarly as long as she was near. No, she was an angel! And angels have this glowing light surrounding them, do they not? And this light must under no circumstances be darkened._

 _"_ _Thank you. I am glad I could be of help."_

 _Other doctors were leaving the room, which let me think it was over already. Daringly I stepped forward._

 _"_ _We will tell Sorcery about your impressive progress."_

 _I wanted badly to see Noctis, but access was denied to me._

 _"_ _Machina, it would be best if you waited a little more." Mrs. Emina said._

 _I looked weirdly at her, expressing my desire to find out why._

 _"_ _The healing spell will have worn off only after… an hour. Until then, it is highly important that the prince isn't disturbed."_

 _Deuce agreed with her, explaining:_

 _"_ _The spell also has a side effect, which is like a strong sleeping pill."_

 _"_ _Oh. Am I to believe he'll be…?"_

 _"_ _Yes, sleeping for at least one hour."_

 _It hurt. It made me angry. Nevertheless, it didn't matter._

 _I took in a deep breath, knowing that Noctis's health was my priority. I had to keep myself busy with something_. _Thus,_ _I visited the arena, where I summoned my rapiers to challenge a fellow cadet. At first he didn't agree to take on a Niflheim officer, but I talked him into. It was just training after all, not real combat._

 _By the time we were finished, I got back and watched the twelve members of Class Zero step outside of their classroom. Ace was the first, a determined look framing his face. He had the specific allure of a leader! One of his arms was protectively hugging Deuce's thin waist, whilst she held his hand. Hmm, I knew they were close! I first realized it that night I brought Noctis here. I followed the elite force of Rubrum to the gates of Akademia. Two big groups of soldiers had gathered there. Commander Kurasame sighted me and explained that one was due to unleash an attack on the Militesi Empire, as the other was heading to the Straight of Judecca to engage the Concordian troops in battle._

 _"_ _I wish you best of luck on your mission, Commander."_

 _"_ _Thank you, Machina. This campaign will decide Rubrum's fate."_

 _"_ _May I ask how it is possible that you're fighting both Milites and Concordia at the same time? I understand Milites has been Rubrum's enemy number one, but…"_

 _"_ _Concordia has broken the treaty and consequently allied with Milites. This coalition's goal is to invade our territories."_

 _"_ _I see. I sure hope you teach these two not to underestimate Rubrum's potential."_

 _He nodded solemnly at me._

 _"_ _You too, Machina. Take care of yourself. In case I won't return home, please tell the prince I would have done anything to assure his safety."_

 _I hesitated. I didn't want Commander Kurasame to die._

 _"_ _...Yes, sir. That's understandable."_

 _At a sign, the army marched forth. I saw Deuce kissing Ace on the lips. My heart shivered. They were the cutest thing ever! Ace littered her chocolate hair with other small kisses as she hid herself at his chest. Oh! Then I was lighten up. They were not assigned for the same mission. My friend would head west, to face Milites, unlike Deuce, who'd set out to Concordia. I felt sorry for them. Ace kissed her passionately one last time before stepping backwards. Deuce wiped some tears falling down her emerald eyes. Cater grabbed her hand… and so, Class Zero was back to battle once again._

 _I couldn't think of the outcome of this war. It was far beyond my powers._

* * *

This day has been crazy so far.

So inactive I've been, the empire would not believe me! We always have something to do there, whether it is training or attending mission briefings. We are given exactly five hours of free time, nothing more, nothing less. But today I've been slacking off twelve good hours! All day long doctors have checked on Noctis. Now dusk is falling upon the Dominion. With small steps I make my way to Noctis's room for the… tenth? or eleventh time. Once I'm inside, I'm surprised to see he's still sleeping. Good lord! I laugh slightly at the exquisite comfort I find him in. He lies on his belly, with his head turned to the right and his palms are rested on the white pillow. The contrast of his midnight locks on it is making my eyes glisten with adoration. Encouraging myself with a gulp, I step forward as I begin to unbutton the military uniform. There's a short tremor pulsing throughout my whole being.

Yes, I'm seriously considering having sex with Noctis tonight.

Hot sex. Sensual sex.

As if he had read my mind, the prince moans softly in his sleep. Hmm… Wonder how wet his dreams must be!

I take off my shoes and let the uniform slide down my shoulders… down my waist… and it lands at my ankles. Then I run a hand through my hair, hoping to regain my composure. I'm so nervous about this. I don't even know whether Noctis will accept me or not. Before I can have my answer, my fingers fall unwillingly on the front of my pants. Reality, do shine on me! I've been endowed with an erection – something I haven't had for at least one weak, if you ask me. I'm so wanting this! I have no idea if it's grammatically correct, but who cares? When arousal dominates you, grammar doesn't matter anymore, right? It's like a small star amidst the giant Universe.

Thus I pluck up my courage. I lay a soft kiss on his shoulder. And since he's shaken off some sleep, he hums pleasantly in response, definitely enjoying what I'm doing. I run my fingers up and down his bare arm, then touch his cheek. Oh, thank goodness! He's no longer hot, so his fever must be gone.

"Noctis, I'm here."

I place one knee on the bed and at the sound, his eyes shoot open in shock. I sneak my hand under the hem of his t-shirt, giving a long stroke to the soft skin I find there.

"Noctis? Wake up, sleepy bum."

I capture his ear between my lips and bite it slightly as I keep on whispering:

"We're finally together."

But not for too long, because I'll have to leave at nightfall. On second thought, I can't tell him this. It would shatter the blissful atmosphere.

"Machina? Is it evening already?"

Noctis looks at the window, confused. The campus's lights are sparkling outside our room. On the endless sky, a small, crescent moon breaks free of the torment of being held captive by dark clouds.

"Yes, it is. Actually, it's about time you woke up. I bet you've been sleeping all day long."

He giggles, a hand placed on his lips. His gesture makes me absolutely mad with desire! Oh, and he even teases me with a seductive voice, while swiftly wiggling his brows at me:

"…Maybe. Now that I'm awake, what would you like to do?"

As if it were not evident! Noctis reaches up to wrap his arms around my waist. He rests his head on my shoulder, his soft hair tickling me. I can but hold him as tight as he does, pleasantly surprised to find he's not that thin anymore. Deuce's healing abilities have improved by leaps and bounds, I gotta say, because Noctis's back is no longer bony. His hips are still slim, but hopefully he will get better. As I marvel at his cobalt, piercing eyes, I brush his fringe behind his ear. Have I told you I love doing that?

"What I would like? Man, what planet do you come from?"

I can't say what exactly has happened between the two of us. We're simply yearning to make love. He, because he's suffered so much and wishes to seek refuge in this. I, because I wish to deepen our friendship – friendship that has transcended time and space. Ten years were not enough to drive us apart. We found each other. We are here. Like Ace would say, 'We are **right** here'.

"Machina, what shall I tell you first?"

I tilt his head to the left side so I can kiss him fully on the lips. Delicious. Wonderful. I feel high!

"Whether you..."

I suck on his bottom lip, he groans with delight.

"Wanna…"

I squeeze him forcefully in my arms, he screams 'Ah!'.

"Do me or not."

His hands grab my hips and I follow his lead. We hold each other tight, our hot lust begging for release. I press my forehead on his, breathing hard. Noctis laughs at my answer.

"I want to do something that's romantic." he says, "I'm okay now. He's gone. He won't return to me again."

Before I realize what he means, he begins to massage my pecs, a very sensitive zone of mine. When his thumbs play in circles with my nipples, I have this strange impression the world of Orience is spinning around me. Or is it jus my imagination? I want to tell him 'Don't stop', but just then he closes the distance between us and kisses my chest grievously slow.

Okay, it's not an illusion – the world **is** spinning!

My eyes close on instinct. I don't stifle any moans. No, I let all of them out. Noctis has the right to know how badly I want him, as well as how amazing his touch feels. Suddenly, my knees can't hold me anymore, having grown far too weak. Noctis seems to have taken notice of that. His lips leave a trail of kisses from my collarbone, down on my fast-beating heart… and lower… and lower… and… my mind has shut down. Sorry.

"I love you, Machina. You've missed me so much!"

His palms slip to my sides, stroking my strained muscles. Oh, man! If only we'd do this more often! I let my weight on his shoulder, leaning on it. Noctis makes the most of that to steal me another kiss. I answer with lazy movements because he's the one playing the leading role. Our tongues meet – his horny with almost violent desire, mine dreamy and calm. Hmm… I want to feel him naked in my arms.

"You've missed me too."

I lift his t-shirt, which leaves his hair disheveled after I take off the garment. How adorable!

"But now we'll be together every day, won't we?" he asks, his voice full of provoking mystery.

He closes his eyes and here I find it difficult to acquaint myself with this side of Noctis. His face is bathed in feeble moonlight. As I cup one of his cheeks with my palm, he daringly leans on it. When I hear my name mildly escaping his seductively parted lips, I can't do anything but answer in a saddened voice:

"I don't know, my prince. Look at me. I'm a Commanding Officer."

"So you have tons of work to do."

"Among other unpleasant things like training. And most importantly, Rubrum is not my country. Who knows when Idola might summon me back to Niflheim…"

I hate talking about this! With a deep growl, I let my weight crush on Noctis's body to pin him down on the bed.

"But until then," I complete in a charming tone, "I will stand by your side as much as I can. I've got nowhere else to go. I'm yours and only yours."

To prove him right, I place my head on his beating heart, listening to it before kissing his chest up and down. Noctis's kind reaction is to wrap his arms around me, keeping us connected in a sweet union. Oh, the blood running through my veins has been set alight by his innocence.

Our gazes meet. Time seems to heave ceased flowing around us. Noctis's eyes remind me of the clear summer night sky. Cherished memories like eating ice-cream together while watching the sunset take over my mind, flooding it with melancholy. I give him a smile before coaxing his lips to join with mine once again. I can't say I've ever had a hotter kiss than the one I'm having now. Noctis doesn't like to add his tongue into it, but he still teases my bottom lip with small pecks. I try to convince him that open-mouth kisses are nothing shameful, although it's plain as day that he prefers to use just the tip of his tongue. Well, I can't contest his tastes. He is quite shy, you know? His nose, as well as his cheeks, are warm and reddish. Hmm… I must have touched some sensitive spots…

"Nokuto? Forgive me this awkward question, but when is your birthday?"

I trail my fingers on his young features as I wait for my answer.

"It was. This July. 15."

"Ah, then you and Ace must be the same astrological sign! His birthday is July 12th."

"Yeah, Cancer. What of it?"

My brain switches on another white bulb.

"I believe in the Zodiac. Do you not? Some characteristics are true."

Noctis shrugs his shoulders.

"Maybe. I've read a thing or two about my sign. It says we're sensitive at heart, calm and very imaginative."

That's right! He and Ace would be the perfect brothers!

"At the same time, we can act recklessly if the people we love are in danger."

I chuckle. Nokuto is the most amazing person I've met!

"Oh, but you wanna hear what I've read about Cancer?"

"Enlighten me."

Without warning, I place both of my hands of his bare chest, massaging slowly and lovingly. Instantly I feel him flinch, unsure of what he should do. To spice things up, I glue my lips to his neck and suck on it greedily. The more I do this, the more hectic his breaths become. They come out in hard puffs. My ears are pleased to no end to hear what they do. Noctis struggles to sound less loud, but I don't allow him so. Instead, I set my heart on making him absolutely mad for me, searching for his left nipple with my fingers. Once found, a bitter-sweet torment begins.

"Wow! Machina, not there!"

He squirms under me. Slyly, I hold him still.

"Don't fight it, my prince."

I give him a love bite, careful not to break his skin. All the while, my fingers move in lascivious circles on his weak spot. However, I'd rather call it 'erogenous zone'.

"Didn't you know? Cancers love to have their chest caressed. It's what turns them on the most."

"Ooohh…"

"Yeah. Well said, Nokuto."

Tenderly, my hips thrust forward, meeting his. Our needy organs touch each other, both hard. I'm not surprised. Internet sources have it that male Cancer natives may get fully aroused if they are offered a passionate massage. Noctis is no exception. His face seems troubled now, struggling between pleasure and discomfort. He is so nervous that he makes me blush too!

"Machina? What about you?"

I lift myself so that my knees are on each side of his body. What an erotic posture!

"My birth date? November 10th."

The prince shakes his head to the right, sending his splendid hair flying. It falls nicely on his eyelids.

"Aha! Scorpio."

Me? Scorpion indeed. I can be venomous if I must. Just bring on the challenge.

"And what is the zone that arouses you the most? I understand mine is the chest."

I stay silent for a while, because it's annoying to answer such a question. Should I name the said 'zone', I'd scare him out of his wits! Meanwhile, Noctis decides to explore my body on his own. First, he tests my shoulders. I let out a long breath as he follows the contour of my two collar bones.

"Could this be?" he asks with an arcuate eyebrow.

"Keep looking." I say.

His hands rest on my chest, then they play with my nipples. I feel aroused. Yes, I do. But there is something else that fills me with even more desire.

"No?"

"Not yet."

Noctis smirks at me and tries lower. He teases my navel, winning a laugh from me.

"You're on the right track, lover-boy."

That's when I remember I still have my pants on. Stupid them. They are like an obstacle, preventing Noctis from reaching his goal. But he is given the cue. My most sensitive zone is **there** … tucked safely inside white fabric. See? I really couldn't have said such humiliating truth: I don't give two hoots on having stimulated other parts of my body. All that I want is to get my cock stroked. Nothing more, nothing less. Romance and I have no common thing. I'm too cold for that. I need sex, not love. What'd you expect from somebody who's lived his entire life in the army?

"May I?"

"By all means. Go ahead."

He unbuckles my belt and throws it carelessly on the floor. Never mind that. I'll find it eventually. Then, with a cute grin of his, Noctis sneaks his hand inside my pants and… I have to tighten all my muscles so as not to jump on him like a savage animal in heat. Man, it feels so good! I've longed to receive such attention from him. How I'd love to impale him right now!

"So, must I understand that male Scorpio natives have a weakness for their… nether regions?"

The question itself is beginning to burn my ears, as if it were forbidden information. Fuck, yeah! It's true. Noctis's boldness excites me. I **want** him. I want to hold him down while I enter him from behind. I want him to feel how desperate he has made me.

"Y-Yes. I think so."

Before I get to say anything else, his hands grab me tenderly. My cock shivers under his touch. And why wouldn't it, when he even pulls it out of its confines? How warm it is! My mind is clouded with perverse ideas. I can be evil.

"Then, we had better do something about it."

I barely hear Noctis's voice anymore. I only know he has my stone hard erection between his hands, whilst I look down at the exciting scenery. The lighting in the room is poor, so I can't say for sure what color the tip of my erection is. The way I see it now… well… But all of a sudden, I can't see anything anymore. Because Noctis caresses me exactly how I crave most! Because Noctis decides to wrap his delicious lips around my cock. Because Noctis hums pleasantly every time he draws his head back, the hard member slipping out of his mouth. Because Noctis…

"Oh, sweet heaven! If only you could see yourself through my eyes!"

He giggles at me.

"Like it?"

"No."

I bend down to reach his head, planting a sincere kiss on it.

"I **love** the things you do with that wicked tongue of yours!"

He rubs me faster and I think I can see green stars before my closed eyes. What a paradox, right?

"You could have told me this is what you wanted. I wouldn't have made fun of it. You're my Scorpio."

"Knock it off, Cancer!"

We laugh together and I push my hips into his mouth, hopelessly certain I've never had a better blowjob. Noctis hasn't done this before, yet the way he does it now… oh, heaven! He takes in as much as he can, his lips not letting go of my flesh. Forth and back, forth and back, forth and back… faster, slower. I moan without fear when I realize I'm about to climax soon. Noctis's hands move up on my body to caress me as his tongue begins to torture the engorged tip of my erection. I make all the grimaces possible – my eyes closed tight and brows furrowed.

"Aaah! Harder, please!"

As if I have pushed his autopilot button, my little Cancer pulls me into him (can't believe I'm saying it), **deepthroating** my cock! I instantly struggle to stay quiet, but Noctis's eyelids open, revealing two blue orbs that set fire to my whole being. Epic fail for me.

"Oh, fuck! I want more!"

I lock my fingers in his hair, forcefully showing him how I want to be pleasured. The prince is ready to follow my lead, but… hold on. Something seems wrong. Something seems awfully wrong! I have to stop. He's… No. I can't do this to him. Perv. I'm a perv.

"Wait. Not like this."

It's grievously hard for me to draw back my cock from the warmth of his mouth. But I manage to do it. Noctis seems confused by my reaction.

"No?"

No! Of course not! He's not just anybody. On the contrary… oh, what the hell is wrong with me? He is my prince! He deserves more than a cheap one night stand. He deserves to be loved. Nonetheless, do I know how to love somebody? Nope. This is a first for me.

"Come here, Noctis."

I run my fingers up and down his nape as our lips engage in another sweet kiss. It's nothing savage, but delicate. Without breaking the beautiful union, we both fall on the bed. Noctis's splendid hair spreads on the white pillow as we continue to seek that which makes us mad with desire. I decide to offer him exactly what he offered me before, in the same gentle manner. So, fearlessly, I put my hands on his hips, all the while kissing him feverishly. I quickly dispose of his pants and he laughs when I pull them off. Then I take a glance at his black boxers. The Zodiac was right! The sensual massage has 'awakened' little Noctis from his slumber. Or… do I dare call him 'little'? His imposing member almost penetrates the fabric of the boxers. The lines that shape his arousal are standing out, inviting me to feed on it.

What am I waiting for?

I 'release' his manhood with swift movements, unable to keep my gaze from it. Noctis moans when he sees my admiration. Well… I know I'm much preoccupied by the 'look' of my groin, but my prince is one step ahead of me. I shouldn't have underestimated him. He's trimmed things better than I have, if you know what I mean.

"My dear, you're gorgeous!"

And with that, I lean down to capture his erection in my mouth. He groans and squirms, and squirms and groans. I touch his sensitive veins with my slack tongue to appease his ardor.

"Relax, sweetheart. Relax."

I even bob my head, making the friction more pleasant for him. I hate to admit this, but he's bigger than me. One or two inches. Heh, what'd you expect from the prince of Lucis?

* * *

We're finally doing it. We trust each other so much that we can join now in the most intimate way. He has let me raise his legs on my shoulders. I am leaning into him as much as I can, whispering love confessions in his ear. His arms are bent on each side of his body, trembling as I thrust cravingly into him. I rotate my hips, focusing on his red lips, which are waiting to be ravished over and over again. My cock is so hard inside him, his warmth luring me deeper and deeper. Oh, Etro! This is so addicting!

"Nokuto."

He looks at me through half-lidded mild eyes.

"I love it when you call me like that."

"Hhhmm… You're tight. You're squeezing me to death."

"Then you'll have such an easy end!"

We giggle together, hands gliding as far as they can reach. From the round shoulders to the thighs and all the way back up. I'm so in love. I've become a better person. Noctis has gradually changed me.

I hold his feet with passionate force as my hips move incessantly. Noctis arches his back underneath me. His hair is currently a mess, since he doesn't stop shaking it from left to right. His mouth is open sensually, constantly praising Etro's name. Watching him convulse so passionately is making me ask myself whether he wants me to slow down or keep up this crazy pace. I can't stop, though. Once I begin, there's no way I can stop. Nuh-uh. Not until we both release our hot desire.

"Machina, this is… too much for me!"

Like I feared, it's Noctis's first time. Damn. I thought he already had other girls begging him to take them. Why wouldn't he? He's a prince, yo. And his looks are charming. Who wouldn't fall down at his feet?

"Hang on, Nokuto. Almost there."

I try. I do my best to find his innermost spot that makes every man lose control. Noctis is tricky, I gotta say. Rubbing myself inside him doesn't help him reach completion. Well, maybe he is really **that** inexperienced?

"You don't understand. I've… never… ahh! done this… before."

Yup. Inexperienced as hell. As for me, I know a thing or two. Or, better said, my dick knows a thing or two.

"It doesn't matter. Just relax. That's all you have to do."

He nods, fisting the bed linen. I grasp his waist eagerly, probably leaving red marks on his skin. I can't figure whether he moans in pleasure or in pain. I feel kind of guilty, but at the same time, I'm the one who'll bring him to the gates of ecstasy. As if I triggered something within him, Noctis reaches up to pull me in a long kiss. This one is certainly the wildest we've shared so far. I see he's thrown his shyness to the side, because he shamelessly kneads my tongue with his.

"Machina, I can't… control… my body."

Oh, it means he's close!

"That's good."

"N-No, it's not."

I mash his lips against mine to prevent him from saying any more stupid things. His feet are banging on my shoulders in time with the movements of my hips. When he groans tenderly into my mouth, I shove my member inside him as far as it can go, resulting in…

"HOLY MIGHTY EIDOLONS IN HEAVEN!"

I release my amused laughter as I nip on his ear. Noctis never ceases to surprise me! To make it easier for him, I snake my hand down his groin to take a hold of his manhood. Before he can even cry, I give him more pleasure with the help of my skills. He deserves it. He deserves to know what pleasure truly is.

"If goddess Etro exists, then this must be her kingdom!"

I kiss my dear Cancer on the neck, listening to his foolish words. Well, to be honest, I believe I was exactly like him when I experienced my first orgasm. Perhaps I uttered things that should have been censored. Who cares? Everybody acts savagely when they lose control of themselves.

"Nokuto… Babe, you were awesome. No, you **are** awesome!"

I let go of his cock when I don't feel it pulsing any longer. His belly is so sticky and white right now! Gotta clean him up.

"Aahh… What just… happened?!"

I figure his mind must be skyrocketing through the ceiling at high speed. I push a few more times inside him and he answers me with low whimpers. I bite on his collar bone as though I were starved. My own orgasm is like a flash of lightning. I let out all sorts of keen sounds as my semen fills Noctis all the way to the hilt. The sensation is… beyond description. My prince was right. This has to be Etro's kingdom, the Unseen Realm!

"Relax. Everything's going to be okay."

I let him stretch his feet and I lie down next to him. Man, I had sex before. I had my dick thrust in both girls and boys. However, what I've done to Noctis is… completely different from my previous 'adventures'. I already know what lust is. However, Noctis has taught me the power of love. I didn't push him hard into the bed just because I was strongly aroused. No, it was… I can't say. I don't have any strength left to think things clearly. But it was definitely something new for me. This was the first time I made love. Hmm… So many people can't be able to tell the difference between sex and love. But I felt it. Here, with Noctis.

Steadily, his heartbeat is back to normal, as well as his breaths. He turns his head to the left to watch me. I do nothing, just stare back, unsure of what I should say. He confidently leans on my shoulder as I place my hand on his belly, coating my fingers in his semen. I bring them to my lips to have a proper taste. I lick my lips. Nice. Really nice.

"Curious?" I ask him.

"Curious about what?"

I put my moist fingers on his mouth.

"Taste yourself, Nokuto."

He smiles and begins to suck each of my fingers until he cleans them. Oh, another erotic scenery for my eyes to feast on! Slowly, his red tongue swirls between my digits, capturing the white liquid that he swallows down his throat.

"Salty-sweat. And strange too."

I wrap my arms around him, holding him so tight that he struggles in my embrace. Yes. I did fall in love. No one can deny it. I love Noctis. I don't want to spend just one night with him. I want to spend an entire life with him. From now on, I want him to be mine, as I will be his.

"Thank you for tonight, Machina. Thank you for everything."

We don't bother to dress up. Our bare bodies, still warm and slightly shivering after descending the heights of arousal, are pressed against each other. His palm slides up and down my chest. My heart quivers under it.

"I love you, my prince."

So many years I was trained to become a harsh person. Yet here I melt like ice-cream, my feelings for Noctis breaking their limits. I understand now. Finally. We belong together.

"I love you too, Machina. So glad we found each other."

"You were fortunate I was sent in Duscae. Had I not been there…"

Noctis hides his face in the curve of my neck.

"I know. I know. I would have been lost by now."

I find his chin and lift it gently with two fingers. Our eyes meet – green and blue.

"You're not. You're here, by my side. And most importantly, you're healed."

He sighs, as if what I've just said were not true.

"Not thoroughly."

I figure he must be talking about the fact that he's still thin. As I hold him lovingly in my arms, I touch his ribs. They feel weak, but never mind. He will grow strong one day soon. I arrange the blanket so it can cover his exposed shoulder. I wouldn't like him to be cold.

"He may come back to me. I'm not sure he's disappeared for good."

"Huh?"

I shift on my side to have a better look at him.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I haven't told you about **him** , have I?"

"Him? No."

Suddenly, I feel worried. Is somebody stalking Noctis?

"He returns to me often. There are times when I have a faint impression that he's powerless to hurt me, although he is strong. Trust me, he is strong! I saw him once or twice. I can't get his red eyes out of my mind!"

"And just who is **he**? If he's someone I know I'll twist his neck."

Noctis chuckled bitterly.

"It's not that simple. You can't kill a demon."

I jump out of my skin.

"A demon!?"

"He seeks to take control over my body. Or so I think. He was here today. This morning, to be more explicit. It's like… Hades himself has sent him to me!"

All I can do is smirk.

"I don't believe in Greek mythology. Hades is just an imaginary character for me."

My hand waves nonchalantly in the air to certify my words.

"Machina, I'm telling you he's real."

"Are you sure you didn't have a nightmare?"

"So you don't trust me."

I roll my eyes and cup his cheeks between my palms.

"Demons represent our dark thoughts, our fears, our weaknesses. If we overcome all these, then the demons will be no more."

I kiss the tip of his nose.

"And you, highness, mustn't wreak yourself with pain."

"But everybody died! Because of me…"

Not this. Please, not this!

"No, you're wrong. The fall of Lucis wasn't your fault. If I recall, you were not even in the city when the invasion commenced. I know it hurts you to look back to it."

His embrace tightens.

"Nokuto…"

I hear a sob filled with regret.

"Please, beating yourself up will lead you nowhere. What you can do is find your strength and use it to crush Niflheim. We will do it together. They are going to pay for what they did to us."

"But the demon! He won't let me go. What if… what if he succeeds in possessing me? What if I won't be myself anymore?"

"Too much mythology, my prince. How about you change your preferences regarding books? Stories are fine, yeah. But not if they terrify you. Try something more realistic."

"Machina, you don't understand!"

"Yes, I do. I understand you're scared. But I can't believe something I cannot see. Hades, lord of the Underworld? I haven't seen the Underworld yet. Nor have I seen him in person. He sent a demon to haunt you? Noctis, this is a fairy tale turned 180 degrees into horror."

"Do you think I made it up? I saw the demon with my own eyes! And I was not sleeping at all!"

"I trust you, lover boy. You will defeat him. Whatever he is, wherever his is now, you will prove stronger than him."

Well, I can't say more than this. I read horror on Noctis's face when he spoke of the said demon. Could it be? No. No way. Demons are supernatural beings. They exist only in our minds.

"Will you help me? Machina, I need you with me."

I pat the top of his head, hoping a golden crown will soon adorn it.

"Yes, my prince."

I kiss him. Our lips knead and dance together. No tongue this time.

"Am I worthy for the throne? After letting my country crumble to pieces?"

"You didn't **let** it. It was an accident. An accident that you couldn't oppose to. An accident that you couldn't prevent. It was not up to you to decide the fate of Lucis."

I deepen our kiss, soft moans escaping my throat. He is simply delicious! I will never have enough of him.

"Of course you are worthy. It will be my honor to stand on your right during the coronation ceremony."

He protests playfully, his fists hitting my back muscles as I loom above him, taking the dominant position. I hold him possessively as I kiss him fiercely, almost ready to make love to him again… and again… and again… until I pass out. When we're both out of breath, we part slightly. Noctis gives me a smile before he…

" _Et nocte perpetua/ E hem desperatione/ Auroram videre potest/ Mane tempus expergiscendi_."

The room is trembling. Every wall is radiating from his powerful voice. My! I never knew him for a singer. Such a splendid tenor! Those who sing our Niflheim anthem would be jealous of Noctis.

"What did you just say!? You were absolutely stunning!"

He rolls me over so that we can both fall asleep, in each other's arms.

"I sing this every time I'm about to lose the fight against destiny. My father taught me the song. It's called 'Somnus' and it has always made me feel hopeful even in my darkest hours."

"Oh, Noctis! You must never give up that fight. That's why people live for – to win the struggle. On the other hand, your song sounds wonderful. So this is what you were singing the night before, when we brought you to Rubrum?"

* * *

 **~See chapter 5 for further information~**

* * *

"Yes. I thought I was going to die. But you all saved me."

"So, what do the lyrics say? Can you translate them for me?"

"Hmm… I can't give you an accurate translation, but I think it would sound like this: ' _Look! After despair and the everlasting night, he can see the dawn. There is still time to awake_.'"

I've heard many songs in my life, but this one has nested straight into my heart. If it were not night, I would ask Noctis to sing me more. He cuddles next to me, willing to continue our conversation. However, we both need some rest. My eyes are already sore, pleading me to close them.

"I never got the chance to tell you, Machina. I have many things to ask you. Like… what have you done all these years?"

"I'll tell you some other time."

Because I need to sleep now. It won't be long until Niflheim soldiers come to pick me up. Gotta recharge my exhausted batteries.

"Oh, somebody's sleepy!" Noctis laughs softly and nips on my chin.

I just tilt my head against his, letting out a tired moan.

"I understand. You've a hard schedule tomorrow?"

"Who knows? I'll be in stand by till I receive an assignment."

His kiss melts on my cheek and all my worries are washed away by hopeful feelings.

"I love you. I'll be right here if you ever need me."

I smile powerlessly as he lays his head down on my chest. Little does he know I won't be here for him by the time he wakes up tomorrow.

* * *

He may be asleep. I figure he is, since his breath is calm, his eyelids closed. I trace my fingers along his, loving to feel our hands connected. I turn my head to the right to bury my face in the ebony silk that is Noctis's midnight locks. I kiss him again, fearing to withdraw my lips from his soft skin.

Love is so beautiful. It has neither color, nor shape. But it exists in our world. It's here, among us all! Some people cast it out of their hearts, and consequently end up as true monsters. Idola Aldercapt is just one fair example. Nonetheless, those who accept love… those daydreamers like Ace, like Deuce… take a look at them! If I recall, Ace's face would brighten instantly whenever Deuce walked near him. And Cinque! Oh, Cinque is the eternal cheerleader. She can't contain her happiness if Trey gives her the tiniest of compliments.

Yes, I have to conclude that love is an inner strength. Ever since it has struck me, my whole universe has been turned upside down. I can't understand this yet. It has happened way too fast for me. All that I know… is that I need Noctis with me so as to be strong. I need to know he's safe. I shiver at the thought Niflheim searching parties will often come to Rubrum to check whether he's here or not.

I let out a sharp shriek. According to me, feelings are victorious against reason. The fear that death might actually be waiting for Noctis right beyond the corner is consuming me! So I tighten my embrace. The young prince just moans in his sleep as I hold him. This is real. This is dreadfully real. We're together.

The crescent moon is high in the night sky, sending a pale, white light to all of humanity. I take some time to admire it. There is no winter in the Dominion of Rubrum. Even though these are October's final days, the weather still is pleasantly warm. The window is open, guiding a slim moon ray inside our bedroom. The navy sky is infinite. The small stars glittering here and there are no match for its darkness. Yet… (I can't believe I'm studying nature!) the moon stands up proudly to the challenge, its power never fading. As romantic as this may seem, I reckon it is a reality full of wisdom. My theory: if that planet can stay bright even amidst pure darkness, which is a thousand times larger than it, then why couldn't us, people, do the same? Why couldn't we face difficulties with all our might without giving up? Oh, nature is so inspiring me! I know now. I will follow the moon's lead. Like her, I will do my best to keep the burning flame of my soul alight, undaunted by the darkness that surrounds me. I have a path to walk on. And if Noctis is with me, then I obviously needn't worry.

But I do.

Heaven help me! I am afraid of the outcome of the war. My destiny… What is my destiny? What is my purpose among people?

My head hurts, overwhelmed by so many black thoughts. Someone, please, save my name! I shut my eyes. Perhaps if I don't see I won't feel this way. Unfortunately I do! It's like a curse that I can't get rid of. I have to pull myself together. Not here with Noctis sleeping beside me, though. How about I spare him of my suffering? He can hardly bear his own, let alone mine too.

Ace promised me he'd take care of Noctis. I trust that he will not let me down. Now… gotta get out. There's no chance I can fall asleep in my current condition. Instead, I should consider having a walk. Some fresh air would do me good. I could certainly do with a cigarette. I spent a day without smoking. Wow, nice record!

Stealthily, I take Noctis's hand from my warm chest. Then I slip slowly out of his embrace. Content that I did not wake him up, I sigh as I search for my clothes. I tiptoe to and fro across the room. Once I'm honorably dressed again as a Commanding Officer, I check my uniform with hasty movements, my hands digging deep in every single pocket. Where? They must be here somewhere. I sure hope they're still intact. You know, sometimes I happen to stuff so many cigarettes in one pocket until they accidentally end up ripped.

Aha! Found them. Thank goodness. I won't be gone for too long. Just one cig – that's all I need to ease off my nerves.

Before turning the doorknob, I glance at my sleeping prince. He looks so peaceful, calm and carefree! Little does he know I'm heading for the terrace. That's the place in all of Akademia I love most. The scenery is amazing. I will marvel at the wonderful union of sea and sky – the azure horizon, under the protection of a silver moon.

* * *

 ** _Author's note:_**...*phew*... I'm so glad I finally managed to end this chapter.

To tell you the truth, chapter 7 was already done by the time I was working on this one :)  
Well, I apologize for the long wait. Here's some good news: I'll post two chapters at once. Yup. You've read well. TWO chapters at ONCE.

If Microsoft Word doesn't mistake, these two chapters are 59 pages long (together).  
At first I thought of mixing them in a single chapter, but then I realized it would be too difficult for you to read 59 pages. So I split this huge chapter in half.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Noctis's birth date hasn't been announced officially. However, considering that I have played Episode Duscae, the demo, I can say a thing or two about his personality. As far as I know the Zodiac, he would be whether Pisces or Cancer, but I think Cancer would suit him the most. I GAVE HIM MY BIRTH DATE IN THIS STORY (July 15) SIMPLY BECAUSE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH 3)


	7. Machina's Departure (Machina POV)

_PLEASE READ THIS FIRST:_

 _The following chapter contains things that should only be read by mature readers._

 _Besides mild sexual content, there is also cigarette use and bad language._

 _AND I MEAN BAD. Machina can really be scary when he's angry._

* * *

 **What Becomes of Us**

 **Chapter 7:**

 **Machina's Departure**

* * *

I sit down on the bench, bright moonlight spreading on my face. It's another quiet night in the Dominion of Rubrum. I assume everybody must already be fast asleep. Only I, the stupidest of the stupidest, rest here, doing nothing more than wasting my life away. War is about to bloom outside this tiny piece of land which we call 'Akademia'. I'm quite aware of that. There is this Pax Codex, a treaty signed by all the states of Orience, the world we live in. Well, one of the nations has already broken the treaty – Niflheim. Soldiers invaded Lucis at emperor Idola's command.

How?

How on Earth did I end up in that wretched empire?

If only I were a citizen of Rubrum! If only I wouldn't be forced to fight against my best friend's country! But even so, I know I won't do it. No matter what harsh consequences await me in the future, I won't murder any innocent Lucian soul. I'm sick and tired of annihilating. There's little chance I can abandon the Niflheim army, however. The news were clear enough: a squad was on their way to Rubrum to take me back where I was wanted.

Oh, Etro! Have mercy on me!

I'm so afraid that Niflheim will form a coalition with other states like Concordia, Lorica or Tenebrae. If they join forces, then Idola will definitely be unstoppable. Ah, my mind hurts to think of this! 'Don't get stressed! Don't get stressed! Come on, don't get stressed!' – I tell myself several times over.

Hoping to seek refuge in the beauty of nature, I take a look at the body of water surrounding Akademia. There are white glimmers all over it, as the stars above reflect on its glass surface. Its color amazes me: such a calm mixture of navy blue, black and light blue (where the bright moon touches it gently). I can see dark forests in the distance and a path leading to the unknown.

Oh! And this when I realize the world is such an unpleasant place to be without somebody you love. Of that I'm certain.

Here I wait for my worries to fade away, listening to the wind's song. In times like these maybe it's better to be by your own, just for a short while. It would make me sad to let Noctis know my pain. No, I can't confess to him. He's overwhelmed with his own sorrow anyway. He still needs time to recover. I wouldn't want to be a burden for him. Let's face it: both of us have suffered, one way or another. Oh, Noctis! How I wish I didn't have to leave you here! But if I take you with me into the heart of the beast… that won't be a wise choice either. If nothing else, it would be worse. I can't risk endangering you.

Too many worries! Look at me. I once again need to release my nervousness. Something quick would do. I couldn't smoke earlier since I was with Noctis. I don't want him to find me out. Who knows what he'll think of me. But now I have nothing left to do until those bastards arrive to pick me up. The terrace is open, no wall concealing it. Yeah, nobody would notice. The odor of tobacco will melt in the air. So why hesitate? My pocket seems to have transformed into an inexhaustible reserve of cigarettes. I count up to five of them inside it, but I only take one, as it would be sufficient. I place it between my lips and begin the incantation of Fire. Hmm… Feeling good as usual!

I remember the way Noctis held onto me as I pulsed within him. He seemed so happy, so complete. To be honest, I didn't even picture I'd fall for him so fast. It's as if something powerful bound us.

Could it be fate?

I wouldn't like to deny this. Perhaps we were meant to be together.

He locked his fingers deep in my hair strands and pulled on them without realizing it hurt me. Well, I've experienced worse pain. I needn't complain. Every time our tongues met in those open-mouth kisses, (my goodness, he tasted more delicious than the holy chocolate!) I released shameless moans in his ear, one after the other. I made sure to keep the intimate atmosphere, though. The blanket covered our heated bodies. What we did was only for us to know. I pressed my torso on his, our hearts touching in the process, and we heard their beats were the same. Noctis smiled while sliding a hand downwards to caress me where I needed most.

Ah! The memory of it makes me…

No, I have to get a grip! I shook my head, trying to push the awakened sensation away.

However, it's already there – obviously visible and imposing – so hot that I can't ignore it. Oh, what should I do? This seems wrong on so many levels!

However… I feel euphoric. And to my knowledge, feelings often win against reason. I was trained to follow a set of rules, but I can still dream. Right? It wouldn't hurt anyone. On the contrary, it might help me find my peace. I so need this. A war is sure to engulf the world in black oblivion. It could bloom every single day from now on! I don't have the slightest idea whether a fast jerking-off session may relax me or not…

Aaarrghh! Who cares? Screw the system.

It's amazing what effect cigarettes have on the human mind, as if the smoke would remove the dark shackles chained within us. Well, do I feel liberated! There's no reluctance. My right hand moves up to keep the cigarette in place. The scent is awful, that I am willing to admit. At the same time, my left hand slides down to the arousal that I can no longer control. My pants seem incredibly uncomfortable and constrictive. Dear Etro, I have to get out of them! With rapid movements, I remove my belt and push down the anaconda-like pants. Hopefully this is not a horror movie. Firmly, my erection demands more space, so I spread my legs out of instinct. Much better already. The black boxer briefs that I wear look so strange with this strong desire inside them which, defying lord Isaac Newton's gravity rule, points at the heavens above like an arrow.

I throw back my head as I puff some smoke out of my mouth.

I touch my pleasure core without regret. But feeling myself through that fabric still isn't enough. I sneak my hand inside, a little nervous about what I'd find there. How much time has it been since I've last offered myself this kind of pleasure? Being caught up in every day training and attending tiresome mission briefings has rendered me sex deprived. Gotta do something about it, otherwise my cock might never rise again. No, really. It's not a metaphor!

My lips curl up in a smile. It's so warm. It's so hard. I think I'm starting to feel dizzy. Combined, masturbation and smoking lead to serious headaches. This I won't forget!

A whimper fills the nocturne silence and here I realize it belongs to me. Countless dreams compose an erotic slideshow within my mind, consisting of Noctis and me making sweet love. Oh! I moan as I begin my hand motion. Up and down it goes, squeezing passionately. I move the cigarette to the left corner of my mouth, not bothering to exhale, which leads the smoke further down my throat. Ouch! It burns! I must look like a furious Chinese dragon.

* * *

…I'm close.

I'm close to my fulfillment.

I've been up here for a long while now, but I simply can't get enough of rubbing my erection. It's not every day a cadet gets the chance to accord proper care to himself! So that's why I need to harness my time alone. About the cigarette… well, I finished it minutes ago. The fag-end is safe inside my pocket, next to other two. Which makes the cigarette I'm currently smoking… the fourth? Initially I said it would be just one. I even amaze myself sometimes.

With a long moan, I add more speed to my movements. My blood answers almost instantly, heating up. So many emotions engage themselves in battle, while I find myself captured amidst them. Waves of pleasure come in, then withdraw. I close my eyes and hum, completely overwhelmed and raptured. When I trace my fingers on the tip of my erection, it thrills wonderfully, releasing the unbearable arousal that has been consuming me.

OH, ETRO! SUCH POWERFUL FEELINGS!

Being grateful that nobody is here to hear me (or even worse, watch me), I let out a small cry as white drops slide down my shaft. At least they abide by Newton's rule. Tragically, because I opened my mouth to phonetically express my enthusiasm, this fourth cigarette has slipped out and given in to gravity. **Hell no**! I hadn't finished it yet! Cursing lightly, angry with myself (because I got carried away), I glance up at the sky and smirk. Dear sir Isaac Newton, if you've seen this, I sure hope you enjoyed it. Thanks a ton!

I reach for the fallen cigarette, but I'm not stupid enough to stick it again in my mouth once it has hit the ground. Well, anyway… I stomp it before retrieving the fag-end. You know, I wouldn't like to leave traces of my dirty activity. Akademia has strict rules.

Feeling the cool breath of wind against my open skin, I sigh as I softly grasp what is left of my erection. If only I could do this more often! If only Noctis did this to me more often… I shake my head, as if wishing to contradict myself. Nope. Not having such luck just yet. Noctis is peacefully asleep in his room, hopefully thinking of me. However, I sense his presence, as if I'm painfully aware that what I'm doing is wrong. Yeah, sitting exposed is one thing, but if you're also having a cigarette between your lips… they might dismiss me on sight, without any futile talk. I'm scared. What if Noctis followed me all the way up here? I have this strange feeling he'll one day find out that I smoke. Oh well… Taking a quick look over my shoulder, I see the stairs are clear. No footsteps can be heard, only my ragged breaths after the mind-blowing orgasm. My member is slack already. I might have overdone it?

And just when I thought nothing worse could befall me, I see big red lights in the sky. They're approaching steadily. I facepalm myself. Why? Why now? I can make out the contour of the airship. A Niflheim airship! Perfect timing. Sighing, I spring to my feet, concealing my manly parts. I zip up my pants, then retrieve the belt and buckle it back to its place. There went my nightly session! What I had was not enough, but _c'est la vie_! My colleagues are here for me. I have no choice. I must go with them. I don't even think about disobeying emperor Idola. Otherwise he won't hesitate to shorten my head with the sword he always carries sheathed on his left hip.

The airship is becoming bigger and bigger as it approaches Akademia.

Once landed, the screams of its engine are scratching my ears. A strong, yellow light illuminates the ground and a metal ramp opens. Two rows of soldiers are leaping out. Two of them are carrying the flag of Niflheim. I can't see it that well because it's too far, but the color red on a white background stands for the empire. Leaning against the concrete railing, I take one last chance to admire Akademia's surroundings. Nature is indeed beautiful. The night seems to have cast a spell all over it. If only we, merciless humans, wouldn't wreck its beauty!

I fix my hair behind the ears and head back. Duty calls. Oh, and what filthy a duty! Behind me the terrace remains lonely. Old traces of smoke still float up in the sky, but I hope they will be gone by dawn.

Rushing down the stairs, I reach the hall and pick up the pace. I despise being waited for. However, when I pass by Noctis's door, I stop in slow motion. Should I? I wish to see him one last time. But he might be asleep. I might wake him up. No. I'd better not. I step forward. It hurts me to think I'll be gone for a long while before I can meet Noctis again.

Wait a minute. Hold your chocobo!

 **'** **To be or not to be? This is the question.'**

Ah, what am I thinking!? Of course I need to see him! Otherwise I'd regret it to no end! I sprint back to his room. Rotating the doorknob, I make my way inside. My Niflheim fellows won't have anything bad to say about this, right? A smile appears on my face. There's darkness between these four walls, but I make out the contour of the bed. Then I gasp. Sweet heaven! Noctis looks so innocent in his sleep, yet tormented nevertheless. The blanket doesn't cover all of his body, so I can see he's still naked. He didn't bother to put on his clothes after our… coupling. Wow. I force myself to stay chill, although it's difficult, having such a cute sight in front of me. Noctis's exposed and perfectly round shoulder is tempting me to lay feathery kisses on it. A little lower from his neck, the two collarbones are deliciously prominent. His expression is… somewhere between zest and worry. I hope he's not having a bad dream! There are black bangs falling on his cheeks. Oy, he looks incredibly handsome.

So what can I do but kneel in front of the bed? I place one caressing hand on his lips. My eyes must be shining powerfully right now. Lust comprises me. Oh, my prince! Oh, those delectable lips of his! The dark of the room only makes them look more sensual. I can't help it. I kiss his bare shoulder, telling myself several times over how much I love him. Shutting my eyes tight, I pour my violent feelings into each kiss. I even bite on his skin, licking it up afterwards. My hands move on their own. One grasps Noctis's waist to pull him closer, one loses itself in his silky hair, adoring its touch. I feel like crying. Not from pain or sadness, but happiness.

"My dear love…"

I hide my face at his neck. His scent is dazing me. And just then…

"Machina? Machina, what happened?"

Darn, I woke him up! Poor little him! He must be thinking that all this time I've been right next to him, sleeping. Little could he know that I sneaked out of his room to smoke one – no! four cigarettes.

"Noctis, I'm sorry."

I cup his face with my palms, whispering to him:

"I'll be right back. N-Need the bathroom a minute."

Can't believe how awfully I've just lied to him. The thought I'd be hiding the truth from him doesn't even seem to be crossing his mind. He's as innocent as an infant in convalescence. He smiles, his eyes still closed, before caressing me. The pleasure heats up my heels. If only I could cuddle with him in this bed right here and right now! I want to taste the other side of life and Noctis is here, willing to teach me. He lifts his head from the pillow to give me a soft kiss on the lips. This simple, yet strong act of love makes me a completely different person. I can no longer identify myself with the usual malicious Machina, whose temper is rather short. When Noctis kisses me, I feel as if I were given a second personality, a second chance to live my life the way I wish. His arms capture my waist between them. I bring one of his hands to my lips and kiss each of his fingers… carefully and terribly slow. The moment I look at him, the desire in his eyes is…! He needs me as much as I need him.

Okay, that's it! To hell with my mission!

I throw myself at him and he chuckles. We make small pauses between kisses to utter all sorts of comforting words. I moan in delight when he slips his tongue between my lips. He embraces me and even attempts to drag me on the bed. Would time freeze for just three minutes!? Please!

"Nokuto…"

"Don't speak. I can't kiss you properly."

His hands massage my back up and down. It feels amazing, everything feels amazing. My mind's clouded, my lucidity is lost. I can't **think**. I can only **act**. My lips crash on his, hard. With every kiss my desire grows more demanding. To show him how badly I want us to be together again, I bite him teasingly and he whimpers. Sweet heaven! His voice has become my favorite song. He reaches lower, touching my bottom. Ah! My cheeks go red, I'm painfully aware of that! I like it when he runs his hand in circles… there… but it still is kinda embarrassing. I mean, I'm a Commanding Officer. Yeah, I might have forgotten, dear reader, to tell you this. Idola named me platoon captain a month ago, when he saw through my potential. Therefore, would the Niflheim army find out about my sexual preferences, I'd be the headliner of all the internet articles. Anyway... to hell with this too!

I lay myself on top of Noctis, but the blanket is like a barrier between our ardent bodies – his naked, mine clad. He seems to have noticed that, since he growls and pushes it aside. I laugh before holding him tight in my arms. It's what I crave most. His lips leave a wet trail on my neck as I do the same to his. Our hands go mad, unsure where to touch next. They just run wherever they can reach, grabbing, rubbing, sometimes slapping. I make the most of the fact he's not wearing his clothes. I hold his waist as I kiss the skin around his navel. He, the needy prince he is, pushes my head down, locking his fist in my hair. Oh, I get it. I know exactly what to do.

"Why don't you take off…?"

"I have to go to the bathroom afterwards."

But instead, here I am! Here I am, taking his hardened member in my hand, giving him the pleasure he yearns for. Noctis lets out a loud moan as my touch makes him wild. He opens his mouth to sigh in rapture and I take the opportunity to pull him in for another desperate kiss (my hand still working on his arousal, of course). Who knows when I'll see him again! I don't want to forget the way we make love. No, I don't! I want to… I want this cursed war to stop! I want peace to dawn on us all, so that we could live happily. Of course, life can't be full of happiness alone, but a war is way too much for all the nations of Orience!

"Hmm… Machina, this feels so good!"

Do I need a stronger encouragement? Noctis's voice manages to chase away my worries. I carefully press my fingers on the tip of his growing erection, tracing them up and down, until he grasps the bed sheets with force. I watch him, memorizing his sweet, cute expression. His thin eyebrows are furrowed – he must be enjoying this thoroughly. His eyes are shut tight and his lips make great effort so as not to part suddenly. Let's see how much he can take! Lovingly, I slide my hand down his member, thinking of the way I've recently pleasured myself. Wonder if he likes it the same as I do… Well, I can't find this out without trying, can I?

"Tell me, Nokuto."

I hover above him to attack his neck. That's when he finally lets out the moan he strived to stifle. I smile contently into his skin. Of course I'm used with achieving my objectives!

"Tell me how hard you want it."

He encircles my shoulders with his arms. I really hate the fact I'm still dressed…

"Very hard." he says.

And it seems like he caressed every single sound, spelling these words as if they were some kind of ancient incantation.

"Oh, here I thought we were in beginner mode."

"It's the second time we're doing it, Sherlock."

"Sherlock?" I chuckle, "That's not my name."

Noctis runs his fingers through my hair, making me lose control. Yeah, the tips of my toes have definitely caught fire!

"No. Machina is your name. It's because you were always so fast and I couldn't keep up with you."

Childhood memories are flooding my mind. Gee, what would I give to return to those times! I place my head on his chest, listening to the song his heart sings for me. After a while of collectedness, I demand him another passionate kiss, engaging his tongue in 'combat'. Ha! I'll win. I'm sure to win. I'm a Commanding Officer, aren't I? To add more spice to the kiss, I continue my movements on his erection. This way I can keep his mouth open. Gotta remember this strategy.

"M-Machina, hurry up! You're torturing me."

I pout childishly at him.

"Sorry, babe. I'm afraid I don't quite get it."

However, I start to stroke him harder, my hand lingering at the base of his oversensitive cock. Then I slip it lower, my eyes never leaving his for one second. When I take his testicles into my palm, he sighs heavily. Oh, at least **he** will sleep well tonight.

"You have to guide me, you know. What exactly do you want me to do? Say it."

My little prince doesn't agree at first. He shakes his head from left to right, fighting off the desire to release his arousal. Strong spasms comprise his body, but fortunately I know they're caused by pleasure and not something bad.

"Don't be shy to tell me. There's nobody else here to hear us."

I keep stimulating him. Nope, I don't plan to stop any time soon.

"Please…" he whispers weakly.

I nod.

"That's a good way to begin. Now continue."

"Machina, I want you to…"

"Yes, highness?"

He frowns. He doesn't like to be called like that. He can't be upset with me, though.

"I love you, Machina!"

"I love you too. You can say it."

His cock shivers as I increase my speed. Almost there. Come on, Noct. Come on. I realize the word 'come' is so suitable in this situation!

"…Don't stop. I love it..."

I massage him with passionate force. His mind must have locked itself somewhere far away, because he even starts swearing – something I'm completely unacquainted with.

"Damn, I think I…"

Pouting childishly, I give him some advice:

"Don't think, Noctis."

And he does just that! Leaving aside reason and conscience, he lets out one of his loudest groans I've heard so far. He grits his teeth, struggling to keep his desire in check. That's when I step in to his aid:

"Let it all out, it'll be less difficult."

And it happens. My hand gets sticky with his seed, but it couldn't bother me. I give him a few more strokes which leave him exhausted. More white fluid dribbles out of his cock… until I have the impression he's already fallen asleep after this pleasant handjob. Then I release his member and he breathes out, spelling my name. My lips curl up in a smile as I lick my fingers clean. Noctis touches my cheek with care.

"Thank you." he says huskily.

"Anytime, love." I reply as I chew hungrily on his collarbone.

We cuddle together and I try my best to stop thinking about my mission. I know well I'm being waited. But I need Noctis. I want to stay here, by his side. I want us to tell each other good night. I want us to wake up temple next to temple, holding hands romantically. I'm about to cry. Trying to hide it, I pull Noctis closer to me and he moans when I grasp his softening erection.

"M-Machina, no. Please, no. You've made me ejaculate twice tonight. If you do it again, I'll never be able to set the score! How am I supposed to make it up to you then?"

Whoa, whoa! Little one, don't worry your pretty head with such things!

"Noctis, where did you pull this out from? Everything I've done was just me telling you how much I love you."

His arms are holding me so tight! I see his strength is back!

"I promise I will do the same to you. Hmm, how about we start now?"

He grins mischievously at me and all of a sudden his hand slips down, past my abdominal muscles, to my groin. I flinch without warning. If I let him continue, I'm certainly meant to lose my ride to Niflheim. So I stop him:

"Nokuto, don't. I'm afraid I gotta go."

"Need the bathroom?" Noctis asks in a tired tone.

"Yes, I do."

"Okay. I'll wait here."

I play with his disheveled hair. The fine strands slip between my fingers. They're so soft!

"Huh? You've had enough of me already? That's it?"

Noctis gives me a puzzled look.

"No. I want **more**. I'll have my way with you when you come back."

Oh, dear babe! Hate to think of this, but I'm not doing that any time soon… I'd better change the subject.

"See the traces of your royalty?"

"Oh, don't tell me that. I'm not worthy for the crown."

Rolling my eyes, I bring his face closer to mine.

"Surely you are, darling."

I stroke his cheek with my thumb as he lets himself melt in my embrace.

"You just don't feel it yet. You'll see. Some day you'll be the king of Lucis. Right now you're weak and I understand that."

I pet his shoulder gently.

"But soon you'll win back your strength. Till then and even after, you'll be **my** prince."

His eyes sparkle with hope. He presses his forehead on mine as we breathe each other's air. I relish this intimate moment.

"You're gorgeous, Machina. You always know what to say."

I smile, not a worry troubling me. However, just when I least expected it, a warning flashes red in my mind. OH, NO! GOTTA GET AWAY! How did I not think about…!?

"W-What's this?"

Noctis looks up at me willing to cup my cheeks tenderly. But I swiftly jump out of the bed, my heart beating madly in fear. The prince takes in a deep breath and I forcefully bite on my tongue. My expression must be horrified right now.

"Yacks, Machina! You smell like…"

"Shut up, I don't smell like anything. You're just tired."

He doesn't believe me. I can read doubt looming on his face.

"Um… Whatever it is, it's not…"

Noctis coughs before getting to say more and my nerves are on the edge of rage. He was so excited minutes ago, he must have not sensed it. But now that the fire of passion has died down… he did.

"My lungs hurt! Is this **smoke**?"

Lie, Machina! Lie!

"Well, it's my new **eau du toilette**. But I won't use it again if you don't like it."

My French accent sucks, but even worse, I've hidden the truth from my boyfriend. Gosh, I'll need a huge amount of time to forgive myself.

"I didn't say I don't like it. Although it's something I've never felt before."

Right. Noctis Lucis Caelum, heir to the throne of Lucis, was surrounded by respectable people, not tramps. Somehow I'm glad he never had to take a cigarette in that pretty mouth of his. Somehow I'm glad he didn't need to stand in other people's smoke like I have. He was spared of this misery. I was not.

"Okay, I'll take a shower. I wanted to go to the bathroom anyway."

He sits on the bed as I make my way to the door. Time to leave.

"I hope I didn't upset you."

You? Upset me? Noctis, please!

"Don't worry, everything's fine. Sleep now. I'll be back soon."

Another lie. Another dagger stab in my heart.

"Don't take too long." he says, "I love you."

And so, I watch him lie down, his eyes trained on me, secretly asking me to quickly get over with my shower. The desire to be tucked safely under the blanket next to him is roaring at me. Too bad I can't grant myself this innocent wish. Instead, I send him a kiss with my two fingers. I have to remember his smiling face. I have to remember those cerulean spheres which set a burning flame within my soul. I have to remember those red lips which passionately and tremblingly touched mine with so much care that made me cry. Yes, I was about to cry as I held him in my arms. Why? Simply because I love him to no end and I'd hate it to be divided from him again.

"Good night, Nokuto."

Placing a fist on my quivering chest, I quit the room with no further ado. When I close the door, I lean on it as if my feet could not hold me anymore. My regret transforms into anguish. My anguish is then released in pouring water that trickles softly… and when it sinks between my lips… I recognize its salty taste.

Damn it. They're tears.

* * *

I take one last look at Akademia, capital city of Rubrum. The moon high above is sending its thin, white rays downwards to bless the mighty citadel. I hope this stands for a positive sign. Or… can it rather be a curse?

When I reach the Airship Landing, to my great surprise, I find the Commandant pacing back and forth as if he had been waiting for me. Honestly, he's the last of the living people I want to encounter! He simply hates me, while I'm proud to say I hate him back – if it's grammatically correct. This mutual aversion has evolved in the past years.

 _Once, when I was thirteen, he used to admire my bravery. Whenever the emperor of Niflheim would come to Rubrum to discuss political issues with Chancellor Khalia (the leader of Rubrum) I had to accompany, because I was one of the most talented cadets, representing the empire. That's how I, voluntarily or less voluntarily, bumped into the Commandant, as bald as a coot. I mean, at that time he had some hairs… but currently speaking he is nearly bereft of these. The more I came to Akademia, the more Idola congratulated me to him, boasting about my courage and knowledge. Soon, by the time I was turning fifteen, the Commandant truly despised me. I tried to be as polite as usual, but I will never forget the cruel glances he would throw at me like deadly sharp knives. And as far as I know, body language often expresses that which words cannot. At the age of sixteen, Idola asked the Commandant if I could put on a combat demonstration in the Arena. The bald man raised half of his mouth in a mischievous grin (I can't call it a smile) before saying a frail 'Yes'. So what was there left for me to do than accomplish what my master demanded of me? I fought one of Akademia's Agito cadets. His name… hmm… Enra? I must admit, his magic was stunningly powerful. However, I had the upper hand. I was faster. During our combat simulation, I kept feeling the Commandant's cold eyes trained on me. They were freezing my back, trying to bring my morale down. What a pity. Because they didn't. I won, then shook hands with Enra. It was only a demonstration after all._

Surely the Commandant remembers that day. Ever since, both his and my hatred have lingered.

"About time, Kunagiri."

I prop one hand on my waist.

"Do I happen to be late?"

He shows me what's remained of his unhealthy teeth and then checks his watch.

"It's five minutes past ten."

He also points at the Niflheim airship, long landed.

"True soldiers, like them, arrive on the dot. What took you so long?"

F*ck! F*ck! F*ck! F*ck! F*ck! F*ck! F*ck! F*ck! (…)

"Is it my duty to remind you about your assignments? What kind of… Ah, forget it. Some things are better left unsaid."

FINALLY WE AGREE WITH SOMETHING! Trust me, keeping myself from swearing out loud was harder than my latest maths exam.

"I wonder what could have Idola possibly seen in you when he named you Commanding Officer."

"Does that concern you, sir?" I ask subtly, "Allow me to say that our Niflheim rules slightly differ from those of Rubrum. Officers are chosen on very compelling reasons, unlike here, where they inherit this title from their predecessor."

Suddenly, out of a clear sky, the storm is unleashed.

"Kunagiri, know your place! Who do you think you are!?"

My face feels like iron now. I can't have any expression on it. My lips are parted in awe, and I barely find some words to defend myself:

"I think I'm a Commanding Officer from Niflheim who wants to return to his country! Emperor Idola has already made his choice. Should this bother you, sir, I will take my leave so as not to exhaust your small reserve of nervous cells."

Ha! How the tables have turned! Now he's the one lost in surprise, while I smirk at him, ready to get out of his sight. Why should I stay anymore? I've got somewhere else I need to be.

"…Machina Kunagiri, you're a shame for the Niflheim empire!" screams the Commandant, "I will send word to emperor Idola that I will no longer tolerate your presence at Akademia. Henceforth, he had better come here accompanied by other officers…"

He makes a pause. I clench my fists forcefully, my veins shivering and almost breaking.

"…Mature officers. Grown-ups who know well the manner in which they should represent their country. Not rebellious teenagers like yourself."

"I beg your pardon, sir?" I merely shout.

I'm an idiot for using the appellative 'sir'. He's anything but that. I only take into consideration that he's a lot older than me. He should be a respectful man, in which case, believe me, I would have treated him like one. However, he's obsessed with winning back Rubrum's lost territories after the Militesi invasion. He envies Class Zero as much as he envies me. Yes, I know that. He's interested in climbing up the ranks, to keep a high profile. Nice indeed, but he could talk politely to me nonetheless.

"I cast you out, Kunagiri! I don't want to see you here again, or anywhere else in the Dominion of Rubrum."

Every word he says is accompanied by his shaking finger, moving right in time with his angry tone, pointing at me. I lift a playful eyebrow.

"Or else… you'll kill me? Must I remind you Rubrum has signed a peace treaty with Niflheim and by killing me…?"

"Quiet, you scurvy brat!"

My mouth closes immediately in shock.

"I've been leading my soldiers for a whole lifetime. Do you believe I'm unaware of the peace treaty!? I won't kill you, since that wouldn't be the best move, but I will have you exiled."

Think. Think. Think. Come on, Machina! Think! At last, I come up with a reply:

"Oh, if you put it that way, well, I'm honored to leave Akademia for good. It has surely been a pleasure talking to you."

No! I won't call him 'sir' again. Not anymore. I just pass by him without looking him in the eye. However, he still turns his head to watch me. Figures. He maybe thinks he can daunt me. Out of the corner of my eye, I manage to catch a glimpse of his face. Disgusting. He takes in a deep breath as I storm my way as away as possible from him. Did he just… smell me?

"I see. Why am I not surprised you're late? Let me guess: you didn't finish your cigarette on time."

… **Damn** …

"Does emperor Idola happen to know that his most adored Commanding Officer…?"

That's it. He's crossed the line.

"Just shut the fuck up!"

In the blink of an eye, my Twin Rapiers appear in my hands, stretching out menacingly. Their black blades capture the Commandant's neck in between, like a helpless prey. He gasps. If earlier his face was red with hate, now its color has faded into a fearful white. Hmm, I like what I see! Love to see my enemies' terror, to read it like a book. Hmph! He must have felt how sharp my weapons are. We, in Niflheim, prefer guns to swords since they have a longer range and battles wouldn't be so risky. But it doesn't mean we're not skilled in melee combat.

"Etro hear me, I will behead you right this instant!"

I press the blades harder on his neck. He doesn't move a muscle to stop me. Bastard! His pants might already be wet.

"I spend my free time exactly how I see fit! Aren't you the one who said this before!?"

The son of a bitch still draws strength to confront me:

"Smoking… inside… Akademia…aaaahhh! is strictly… forbidden!"

I can't have been angrier. Perhaps only in a previous life.

"Seriously? Then I have a message for you, **dear sir**."

Yeah, this time the term was ironically used. I let my blades cut through his skin until blood flows out, without being enough to put an end to his miserable life, though. Shoot. I know I'm too merciful sometimes.

"You! Can! Screw your rules! I'm outta here!"

With a guttural snarl, I step backwards. The Twin Rapiers follow my lead. I don't dismiss them yet. I squeeze their handle tight, my eyes eating the Commandant alive. Regretfully, I can't kill him. That would violate the pact between Rubrum and Niflheim and that would lead to more trouble and then I'd find myself stuck once again and so on…

"Sir! We've been waiting for you."

Those voices belong to my comrades. They're Class First soldiers like me. I turn around, never considering addressing another word to the Commandant. Enough!

"Machina?"

Ten men form a line and stand before me. Oh, I'm happy to see them, but I'm still incredibly furious. My control over my feelings is pathetically poor. You might have noticed that already. I don't want to burden my comrades with my negative state of mind. No. I'll have to work it out on my own, as usual. So I lift my hands, making the Twin Rapiers disappear. Then I stretch my back and they all salute me first. I reply in the same manner.

"Commencing operation Homecoming?" I ask with a powerless smile.

"Sir! Whenever you're ready." they answer in one voice.

The stupid Commandant will definitely inform Akademia's Consortium about my departure. I needn't bother.

"Let's go. We've a long way till back home."

"Yes."

Time to leave Rubrum. Not for good, hopefully.

We board the airship and once we're inside, the lights are switched on again. I don't know why, but that's when one of the soldiers really gets on my nerves. He asks me:

"I hear you haven't found the target? Idola is still expecting us to find the prince of Lucis."

No! I can't take it anymore! My nervous system is in such a severe condition.

"It ended in failure." I hiss at him, "I'm the only one left alive. My two mates got killed by a behemoth."

What a nice lie. Perhaps I should congratulate myself. I'm growing more skilled in hiding the truth. But I have a good reason. I don't want to think of that day I shot my colleagues! Before other questions can explode, I walk on, anger dominating my whole being. However, it seems this has been my most unfortunate day! Bad luck keeps tracking me down like a sly foe. Because the soldiers in front of me step aside to make room… all except for one (damn him!) – he who's asked me about my mission. I'm at the end of my tether, so I violently shove my shoulder into his to clear my path. I've no time to waste.

"What's the matter with ya!?" he screams at me, "Are you injured or somethin'? Get a grip, yo!"

As if I've been stabbed with a poisoned dagger, I turn to him swiftly, feeling my flesh is on fire. He has blonde, spiky hair and deep blue eyes. Too handsome to be in the army, but hey, Noctis has also told me I look hot. If someone as dashing as me can be called a soldier, then so can this blondie here… who has really driven me crazy!

"Don't you talk down to me like that! Leave me be!"

I push him away as I continue walking forward, never caring about the guy's poor fate.

"Oh, and I'll have you informed I have a high rank in the army. Mess with me and I'll shorten your head. Maybe you don't know who I am."

I can hear all sorts of shocked sounds varying from gasps to whistles forming around him like a shield. The others surely are worried. They wouldn't dare tell me such words. I remember their faces. But this bold brat seems to be a newbie. Otherwise, he wouldn't have used that language. If not, then he really is stupid.

"Forgive me, sir." he mumbles, "It's true. I didn't know this."

I swear to Etro, I'd summon my rapiers to drill his stomach but I simply can't go on killing more comrades of mine. Idola might grow suspicious, so I better watch out.

"You didn't know? Allow me to refresh your memory, then. Here."

And I point to my chest, where a golden badge had been sewed to my uniform. It looks like a ribbon, with my name engraved in the middle in white letters. Any Niflheim citizen would have recognized that as the mark of an esteemed military officer. It's obvious that having such an assignment I must take full responsibility over my platoon. And as far as I remember, I've been gone missing for quite a handful of days. Oh, my dear Niflheim mates have been missing me! I can hardly keep my tears from falling. Are we truly friends? Or just comrades in arms?

The soldier who previously mocked me is taken aback, jumping as though a huge wasp had bitten him. He must have read my badge.

"Commanding Officer Machina Kunagiri?"

I give him a mischievous grin.

"Yours truly."

"In charge of platoon number one, the infantrymen?"

"That too."

A deep silence fills this awkward moment. Only the roaring engine of the airship can be heard.

"My apologies. I am new in the army."

He closes his eyes and squeezes his lips. Hmm, at least he knows he did something wrong! The other nine soldiers step in to aid him.

"He's been with us for only several days."

"He still has a lot to learn."

I smirk at them, arranging my mantle on my shoulders. This is pathetic!

"Well, in that case, I hope you're a fast learner, mister…?"

"Cloud. Cloud Strife."

"Oh, your name matches your behavior." I tell him coldly, "Keep this 'strife' of yours in check. Understood?"

He straightens his back immediately.

"Yes, sir!"

"Very well. Here is Niflheim's rule number one: those who do not show respect are not worthy of becoming soldiers."

Cloud looks down at his shoe. Judging by his appearance, I'd say he's in his middle twenties.

"I sure hope you don't need to be reminded what respect means."

"O-Of course n-not!"

"Good. Then you might reconsider your language next time you address to a Commanding Officer."

"I pray you can forgive me. It won't happen again."

His eyes meet mine and I tighten my jaws. I have a feeling Cloud won't actually be a blessing in the Niflheim army. Who the hell assigned him?

"You're fortunate I'm an optimistic person."

That being said, I spin on my heels, while the other soldiers rush to my side. They're asking too many questions, just as I've feared. Things like 'How did you manage to escape the behemoth attack?' or 'We're so glad you're alright. How might we be of use?' I evade them subtly, explaining I've got everything under control and that I just want to get some rest.

At last, the airship takes to the sky once its wide ramp has closed. The interior is not that spacious as I remember. This has to be a new model? I throw myself in the nearest chair and prop my boiling forehead with a hand. I've barely left Akademia, I've barely left Noctis… and behold what awaits me! The world of Orience flashes before my closed eyes. Inside my mind, I can already hear the gunshots of war, the crying children, the weeping women. Calamity is near. What's to become of Noctis and me?

"Sir, would you like a cup of tea?"

Oh please! I could surely do with a cigarette instead. But anyway…

"Yes, thank you."

I look up to whoever talked to me. He is a tall man with dark spiky hair. The white uniform of Niflheim doesn't suit him. I bet he'd make a better impression in other colors like navy blue or black. Zack Fair and white have nothing in common. They're like two parallel lines. He hands me the cup, then sits next to me. Because we don't want to make ourselves heard, we speak in a hushed tone.

"Been a while since I've last seen you."

"Me too, Machina. You still smoking?"

Not this. Not you too. I refuse to answer, so he gets the message. He shakes his head.

"Didn't mean to offend you."

"Did not."

Then he doesn't say anything anymore. I appreciate the fact he doesn't insist on this topic. He is wise enough to evade further unwanted conversation. I think of changing the subject as I sip the strawberry tea with a pleased smile. Wow, it tastes better than I thought!

"So, anything interesting happened while I was on duty?"

"Not actually." Zack answers, "They made me Cloud's mentor. That is all."

"You mean the newbie?"

"Oh, come now. He's pretty strong. Wait and see."

" **Pretty**? Zack, spare me. We don't need 'pretty' among us. We need 'good'."

Taking a short glance at the distant blondie, I lift a hand in the air and wave it carelessly as if I were an orchestra conductor.

"Are you sure he has it in him to kill?"

"…He wields the sword **pretty** well."

I've just been given the appropriate impulse. On the spur of the moment I laugh so hard I nearly spill my tea. Gone is the silence.

"I'm strongly shaken! No, seriously! This guy's gonna be the death of me!"

The other soldiers give us puzzled glances, all of them but Cloud. He sits cross-legged, his chin buried in his chest. Fine, fine. I get it. He's new. I must have looked the same as him when I first joined the army. Zack pokes me playfully with his shoulder, hoping to lift up my mood. Well, he's managed another short-lived smile from me. But after that my soberness kicks in.

"You've got me thinking, Machina. I mean, look at you. You're… seventeen?"

"Turning eighteen this November."

"Right. You're so young, yet they already name you Commanding Officer. This is great, but can you cope with all the hard work?"

My eyes are wide open to their full extent. Dear, why do you think I started smoking?

"I won't deny it's not hard. At times I even feel like throwing it all away – my platoon, my country, my life. However, that would be silly of me, won't it? There's nothing else left for me to do, you see. Fighting is what I do best. Even though I must be the youngest member of the army, they've always treated me with great respect. "

The soldiers are listening intently to me. I'm their idol? They already know I have no family. Zack discreetly skips the question. I thank him telepathically. I hate to be reminded of this. It might be my weakness… along with Noctis.

"Sir, permission to speak freely."

Ten heads (mine too) are turned towards the place where Cloud has just stood up. My lips open in an oval. He's got nerves. I like that. So I raise my eyebrows with curiosity as I spell a single word to him:

"Granted."

My hand even stretches out to motion him that he may approach. He takes several steps forward before his eyes meet mine once again. This time I sense an unwavering inner strength floating around him like an invisible aura. Impressive, Strife.

"I will do everything in my power to live up to your expectations, Commander Machina."

…Please excuse me while I…

I'm stupefied. Ohoho! Now that's what I call 'appropriate language'. Congratulations, boy! Go on, go on.

"I am aware of the fact I may be inexperienced, but I have sworn fealty to the Crystal of Niflheim I will fight in its name. I ask that you give me a chance to prove my worth."

Nobody utters a word… until I give him my 'blessing':

"Very well, Cloud. That is a solemn oath you've made. Keep it."

"Thank you, sir. I will not let you down."

We'll see about that, mister Strife. I can't wait to test your 'pretty' skills.

"When we reach Niflheim I would like you to show me what you can do."

Cloud's eyes have brightened as if a ray of hope has just touched them mildly.

"That would be my honor, sir! I'm much grateful for your benevolence."

My only possible reaction is a sharp smirk.

"Please don't make the most of it."

Just DON'T screw up, Strife. I'm very short-tempered. Lately, my tolerance has almost dropped down to zero.

As our airship passes through time and space, I sit in my chair, wrestling with my thoughts. From time to time I hear my colleagues' chatter. Thank Etro it's nothing embarrassing. Some are talking about their homes, explaining they need to build a new fence. Some are talking about their failed marriages. Zack is still next to me, sipping from his tea. I rub my temples, striving to stay positive. Holy flames of Tartar, it's inhumanly difficult! I haven't told Noctis I'd go to Niflheim. Tomorrow, when he awakes, he'll definitely panic. He has no acquaintance in all of Akademia. How could I have left him alone? I imagine he might be scared out of his wits to find himself all by his own. AGAIN! As if wandering aimlessly throughout Duscae wasn't enough! B-But there's nothing I can do about it, crap! Niflheim has already called for me. I'll be a long distance away from my dearly beloved. Have to… always have to… abide by the rules above all else.

Suddenly, I've grown sick of fighting. Strange, right? Because, theoretically, that is what I do best.

That day Noctis got shot by one of my mates I held his head in my lap, doing my best to ease off his pain. That night Noctis nearly died of hunger I embraced him tight, whispering prayers at his ear. And last night… oh, last night we discovered how important we are for each other. Yes, he has switched something on within me. I never had to show compassion before, but I still didn't let my soul to waste away, to turn to steel. All these years in the army are like an ocean of black, while the only two nights I spent with Noctis are a peaceful light breaking through that darkness. He made me see the other side of life. Look at me. I feel I've changed. How, I do not know yet, but I will soon have my answer. I wish… I so strongly wish Noctis and I could be together again! After being separated for what seemed like a whole lifetime, I can't be happier that I found my friend, the boy who gave me a name. I was meaningless then, having no parents, no brothers, no shelter and not even a proper identity.

Oh, no! I had better ignore these memories. I need to concentrate on stuff like… what I'm going to tell Idola when I step into his room. How am I supposed to explain what happened? Well, I need to at least get some hours of sleep. Otherwise I won't even be able to stand, let alone talk to my venerable emperor! I breathe out as I let myself enchained by peace. It seems the other soldiers are following my lead, for their voices are becoming less and less loud… until everybody is quiet. The engine of the airship remains our background sound. I reckon it's only a matter of hours until we should be home. A fearful sigh escapes my lips and I brace my left temple with a hand. Not the best sleeping position, but never mind that. Good night everybody. Good night… my love.

Noctis, stay strong. I will come back to you.

I will help you overcome your pain, like you helped me overcome mine.

As sure as my name is Machina Kunagiri.

* * *

 _ **Author's note: And as sure as my name is Lisa, I will continue this story as soon as I get more information about the Niflheim empire. I am waiting for the Active Time Report, scheduled for January. Trust me, friends, as soon as Tabata-san tells us more about Niflheim, I'll get down to work again.**_

 _ **I did promise you two chapters, right? :))) And two chapters I gave you! Happy Holidays everyone! Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, my dear readers! Thank you for reading my story! :D**_

 _ **AHA! Here's a secret for you. Till January, I will focus more on 'Quartet' and 'The Embrace of a l'Cie' so... stay tuned!**_


	8. Important announcement (don't freak out)

**_Author's sincere confession:_**

 _Hey there, darlings! It surely has been a while, hasn't it?_

 _Don't be afraid. It's not what you've misfortunately been expecting. Nuh-uh. I'm not giving up on my stories._

 _Ok. Now that you can breathe out and relax, I need to tell you something._

 _My calendar says 'March 3rd'. Well, the second biggest exam of mine is inching closer every day. June. Oh, June! Dears, I'm so caught up in studying, I can barely write ONE LINE for my stories! I HATE IT!_

 _I can only enjoy a 5 hour night's sleep (if I'm lucky) and I drink at least 4 cups of coffee (Latte Macchiato, delicious!)_

 _I can't say I study more than 3 hours a day, but I am INDEED exhausted. My eyes are sore..._

 _Gladly, no misfortune has befallen me yet. I'm still ok, still hopeful and still strong. Hope you guys are fine._

 _To conclude, I will once again ask you to remain in wait. 'What Becomes of Us' and 'Quartet' will slowly but surely take shape. All writers need a break, huh? I thought it would be good to let you know that I haven't forgotten you (and I never will!) and that I haven't given up on my stories (completely out of the question). Thank you for so many views! I never imagined so many people would like my style. Reviews are WELCOME :D_

 _You might expect future updates from now on. What I can tell you is that after June, I'll be a free human being once again (probably with an exploding brain and with red eyes popping out of my face, but I'll_ _ **definitely**_ _be back)! Never mind that. Summer will be mine, hihi!_

 _Thanks for taking your time to read this. Wait for me, dears. I'll make my absence worth the wait._

 _Till then, you can always check up updates concerning Final Fantasy XV! WHY NOT? Oh, and let's not forget about Kingdom Hearts III. Or maybe you're also interested in Final Fantasy 7's PS4 HUGE Remake?_

 _Till next time! I promise I'll write as much as I can, but I have to focus on my upcoming exam. I hope you understand. You can steal me this summer, ok? ^_^_

 _~Lisa, with love_


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